


The Unlikely Heir of Erebor

by ImJustFandomTrash



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Battle, Battle of Five Armies - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Blood, Blood and Gore, Depression, Emotionally Constipated Thorin, Father! Thorin, Fluff, Gen, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, King Thorin, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Protective Thorin, RIP, Suicidal Thoughts, The Company - Freeform, Thorin Has No Sense Of Direction, Thorin Is an Idiot, Thorin's A+ Parenting, Vonnir is my oc, but he dies - Freeform, daughter! Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22623223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustFandomTrash/pseuds/ImJustFandomTrash
Summary: You are the Daughter of King Thorin, the King under the Mountain. Your good friend, Vonnir of Stilda of the Iron Hills, has passed in battle. An honorable, but devastating death. This is the story of how you cope with the loss of your long-time friend, how Thorin comforts his only child, and your journey to making amends with Stilda of the Iron Hills.Father! Thorin Oakenshield & Daughter! ReaderOMC x Female! Reader
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	1. The Princess of Erebor and the Endeavors of Life & Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Bâheluh – my friend of all friends  
> Hurun Ganat – Rest well; goodnight  
> Sanûrzud – a perfect/true/pure sun  
> Uzfakuh – My greatest joy  
> Adad – Father  
> Nâthuê kurdu – Daughter of my heart/My daughter of Heart  
> Menu Tessu – you mean everything to me  
> Gajut men – Forgive me  
> khajima – gift  
> Amad – Mother  
> Itkit – Silence! (Command for one person)  
> A'lâju Mahal – (You) Shame of Mahal  
> Adadnamad – Sister-of-Father (Aunt)

“My king, forgive me for being bold, but you seem very exhausted.”

Blue and tired eyes turned to gaze at a trusted servant of the Kingdom, her kind eyes gazing into his own. The king sighed upon his throne and replied.

“Aye, it seems that being a king and a father was a task I did not expect to be so….troublesome.”

The maiden chuckled softly before replying, fluffing his furs gently.

“Hm, but it is a task that you handle very well, my king.”

The king smiled lightly before the maiden added with a small smile.

“That child of yours is a mischievous little dwarrow. It’s almost impossible to send her off to bed. My cousin Hora turns to me often for help.”

The king chuckled and replied.

“Aye, that be true. I must admit that it is a feat she acquired from her father.”

The maiden smiled and just as she opened her mouth, the doors to the throne room slammed open. A young dwarrow ran in, her eyes bright as the mischief swirled deeply within them. Within her arms was a basket of food, her cheeks bulging from the food within them, and Hora, the newly appointed governess and nurse of the King’s child, chased after.

“Princess (Y/n), you will get back here and give me that food this instant!”

You giggled loudly as you ran to your father’s throne, your thick hair bouncing as you ran, and the maiden beside the king, Nora, chuckled as you ran up and hid behind your father’s robes, quickly shoveling more food into your mouth from the platter in your hands.

Hora did not dare to lay her hands on you nor the king’s robes as you hid behind the furs, and the King laughed lightly.

“I see she is in high spirits today.”

Hora bowed lightly.

“My apologies, King Thorin. It seems the princess was feeling far more adventurous today and found her way into the kitchen after trying to avoid going to bed!”

Your bright eyes peeked out from around your father’s furs and you smiled widely, juices from the apple within your mouth running down your slightly bearded face. Hora squinted at you, saying.

“Yes, you. You know what you’ve done, and don’t think I didn’t see the help you were getting!”

You giggled again, and your father picked you up, smiling down at you. You held the platter up lightly, speaking around the bits of apple in your mouth.

“Fruit!”

Your father picked a strawberry from the platter, taking a bite and chuckling.

“What trouble are you getting yourself into now, uzfakuh?”

You swallowed and replied, grabbing a roll from the platter.

“I was hungry.”

“And who was this person that was helping you steal from the kitchen?”

Hora raised her eyebrows when you stayed quiet and answered for you.

“My King, it was the young Vonnir of Stilda of the Iron Hills.”

At his name, you perked up and began to squirm in your father’s lap, trying to get away so you could run to Vonnir’s hiding place, but your father kept a hold of you.

“I see. (Y/n) has taken quite a liking to young Vonnir. Do we know where he is?”

“No, he ran off as soon as I came into the room. The Princess did not notice me until I had called for her.”

You giggled from around your bite of bread, and your father took another strawberry before holding the tray for Nora. You whined, but your father hushed you.

“You’ve had quite enough, little thief.”

You pouted heavily, Nora bowing as she took the platter away. You squirmed a bit more before your father sighed lightly.

“Hora, please go with Nora. It seems the kitchen will need to be guarded this night.”

The two maids chuckled, and you yawned deeply, resting your head against your father’s chest. His large hand rubbed your upper arm gently, and he asked softly.

“Have you had enough of your mischievous antics for the night?”

You nodded, and your father kissed your head softly, standing and beginning to walk to your chambers.

“Please don’t punish Vonnir. It was my idea to go into the kitchen.”

You mumbled against his chest. Your father shook his head, saying.

“Nonsense. It was never my intention to punish you.”

You hummed a bit, yawning once more, and in no time, your father had gotten you to your chambers. Lying you down beneath your fur covers, your father kissed your forehead, and you asked.

“Adad, will you stay with me?”

Your father was quiet, seeming to contemplate it before sighing and climbing into the bed with you. His back rest against the headboard, and your head took refuge against his thigh. Your father gently carded his hands through your hair, and you mumbled softly as you scratched your face lightly, bits of hair falling from your fingers.

“Adad, why does my face shed like a warg? Am I sick?”

Your father sighed, looking down at you and watching as you flicked your fingers, the dark strands of hair falling to the fur blanket below.

“I do not know why, my child.”

You looked up at your father and pouted, reaching up to scratch at his beard.

“But when my fingers touch your hair, it does not come out like mine.”

Your father gazed at the large patch of skin that had been uncovered from the hair that had shed there, and he gently rubbed his thumb against the skin.

“Perhaps you are not to have hair like mine. It is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“But Nora, Hora, and even Mora have their beards. Their hair does not fall out. Even Vonnir and Lady Stilda have their hair.”

You pouted and mumbled, lying back down.

“I want to look like you, Adad.”

Your father sighed and ran his fingers through your hair, saying.

“Do not fret, child. Even if you lose the hair upon your face, you will not lose the blood that runs through your veins.”

You nodded lightly, and your father began to hum you to sleep. As you fell asleep, your father shook his head lightly, his fingers gently carding through the thinning patch of hair on your chin and jaw. When his fingers came back, dark strands littered his fingers. It was alarming how fast your beard was coming off, and though Thorin had consulted Oin, not even the healer knew what was causing the hair-loss.

Oin had speculated that perhaps your mother had been of not just of dwarrow blood, but of another race as well…perhaps of Men or Elves. Thorin had refuted it, stating that his One could never had been of Elvish blood of any kind for her ears had not been pointed nor was she abnormally tall for a dwarf. She had been short and heavy, a thick beard upon her face that was always braided with beautiful silver and gold beads.

She had a thick head of hair that reached her knees, many braids intertwined to create one long braid that was always swept over her right breast. If she had any elvish blood within her, Edria had hid it well. However, it was highly unlikely. If there was any foreign blood within her, it would have to be of Men. There was no other explanation for your sudden shedding. Sighing, Thorin laid his head back. No matter what it was, it did not change the blood that ran through your veins. You would still be his most prized jewel, the most priceless coin in the kingdom, and he would tear down those who dared to defy that.

As the years passed on, your beard had completely shed, leaving just a youthful face. They had never been to discern the reason why your face had shed its hair, but it had made you no less the dwarf that you were. You had since then grown, becoming taller, your forehead coming to his lips. Your mischievous ways had only since then grown with the help of his sister-sons, Fili and Kili, and your friend, Vonnir.

Thorin had been able to finally meet the lad after a week since the kitchen incident, his bright brown eyes just as curious and mischievous as your own. He was a very curious dwarrow, his beard already fully in by the time he had come of age. Thorin had found that if you weren’t sparring in the courtyard, weren’t found roaming Dale, or were causing mischief in the halls of Erebor, you could be found with Vonnir doing only Mahal knows what.

When you had turned 100, a fresh adult in the realm, a war had broken out as orcs had tried to retake Erebor. Without hesitation, you had gone out to fight despite the protests of the company and your father. The dwarves of Erebor were quick to ensemble and follow you as you charged on without hesitation. Each and every orc that fell, the more exhausted you became. You were not used to war nor battle, but for the sake of your kingdom, you fought with vigor.

A sudden body came back to back with you, and you were startled for a moment before a loud laugh sounded.

“Look at all these filth. I bet you’ve never gotten the chance to see one so up and close. Smell as good as you thought they would?”

You grinned, slamming your sword against your opponents before kicking their shin and stabbing them in the chest.

“Better than you on a good day, Son of Stilda of the Iron Hills!”

The man’s baritone laugh echoed through the battlefield, his long brown hair waving and kissing his thighs as he spun. His thick beard covered most of his face, but it did not hide his smile. Though Vonnir’s face was marred with blood, soot, grime, and cuts, his spirit was still high. You both smiled at each other before stabbing the orcs coming for your backs, seeming to dance together as you killed orcs and goblins alike.

From across the battle field, your father kept a very close eye on you, watching as you danced and fought with Vonnir. It made him wonder if Vonnir was your One because of how closely tied you two had been since your days of naming. Thorin sliced down an orc, and he tried to begin making his way to you.

“Uncle!”

Fili and Kili met with Thorin and announced to him, swords clanging noisily around them.

“Their leader has been brought down, but they don’t seem to be letting up. What do we do?”

“Send for the Rams, Dain will be able to run them down.”

Fili and Kili’s eyes widened at the booming voice of their cousin, and your father spun as you yelled at the top of your lungs, almost louder than all the shouting and clanking of weapons.

_“Abrâfu shaikmashâz!”_

Your sword swept through the neck of an orc, cutting its head straight clean off of its shoulders, and it was then that Thorin noticed Vonnir was no longer beside you. His heart dropped to his stomach, and he watched you duck down. A shocked-looking Vonnir was slung across your side as you went back up, and your eyes were wild now. Dain announced his presence with a loud ‘Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!’ as his army of dwarves and rams ran across the battlefield. Thorin began to make his way to you, but an onslaught of orcs blocked his way.

“Get to your cousin! Now!”

Thorin ordered Fili and Kili, his heart beginning to race as he heard your yell of pain. Dwalin came beside Thorin, swinging his axe, and he yelled to the company.

“Clear the way! Protect the Princess!”

When the onslaught had cleared, Thorin’s mouth was in awe. You had been cut numerous times, your back bleeding heavily. You had small daggers sticking from your legs, but despite all, you had Vonnir’s body draped across your shoulders, hauling him towards the kingdom. You were clenching your teeth, your boots slamming onto the ground from how heavy they seemed to feel to you as you tried to walk up the stairs of the gates of Erebor.

Vonnir was unconscious, limp against your shoulders, and it was then that Thorin noticed the tears running down your face. Fili and Kili ran to you, trying to take Vonnir, but you began to cuss them out, determined on taking Vonnir yourself. Instead, Fili and Kili stayed by either side of you, hands carefully keep hold of you and holding you up as you carried Vonnir.

Dain came to Thorin, the dwarf looking around at the battlefield, the orcs being run down by Dain’s Rams.

“We are victorious again, but it is strange they came after Erebor again.”

Thorin nodded, glancing around.

“I sense there is foul play within this war…this was not some random attack.”

Dain nodded before looking back at Thorin.

“Aye, I will keep on the lookout in the Iron Hills.”

Dain’s eyes carried over to Fili, Kili, and you, and he sighed.

“Go on, lad. Your kin needs you more than the battle field.”

Thorin nodded lightly, despite being torn on staying, and he quickly ran after you. When he caught up to you, you had just entered the infirmary, setting Vonnir down before demanding, your eyes wild.

“Save him, _now_! That is an order from the daughter of King Thorin Oakenshield, the son of Thrain, the son of Thror!”

“But, Princess-“

_“Do it!”_

You roared, the maidens, your cousins, Oin, and even Thorin widening their eyes and jumping from their surprise. Quickly, the maidens began to work on Vonnir, and Oin came to you, holding you up as you began to wobble.

“Lass, you need to lie down and allow me to assist you.”

“No, I have to be here with him!”

Oin shook his head and Thorin helped him drag you back to a bed opposite of Vonnir’s, your eyes never leaving his limp body.

“No, stop! Stop, I must stay by his side!”

“(Y/n), you will lie down on this bed!”

Your father snapped, and you shook your head, trying to fight them. However, you had grown incredibly weak, your body tired from the fighting and the wounds you had obtained from focusing only on Vonnir.

“Father, I can’t leave him!”

“You will stay in this bed. That is an order from your King!”

Thorin asserted loudly. You hissed at him, and Thorin had half of a nerve to sew your lips shut. His anger dissipated lightly as you cried, calling for your friend to awaken, and Oin shook his head.

“I can’t work with her so hysterical like this, Thorin.”

A nervous voice replied.

“I can help.”

Thorin spun to see Bilbo Baggins in the doorway, holding a vial that held a sedative inside, and Oin shared a look with Thorin before the King nodded.

“Master Baggins, when did you arrive?”

“I was supposed to leave before daybreak…but I saw the orcs while on my way and I came to warn you as fast as I could…but I was too late. I’m sorry, Thorin.”

Thorin shook his head, placing his bloodied hands on Bilbo’s shoulders.

“Worry not, my friend. You are here now to help my child. That’s all I can ask of you.”

Bilbo smiled lightly, nodding before he straightened up.

“Alright, tell me what to do.”

-TIMESKIP-

When you awoke, it was quiet within the room, save for the small snoring sounding from beside you. Your eyes fluttered open, and you turned your head to see your father seated next to you, head against the wall and sleeping. His hand was in yours, holding onto you tightly. Sighing, you looked around the room, your eyes landing on Vonnir’s bed and eyes widening.

Vonnir was still upon the bed, breathing albeit shallowly. He looked pale, sweat running down his forehead, and you slowly sat up. Your wounds protested, but you were determined to get up. Your father shifted lightly, and you froze, glancing over at him before moving again once the snores started back up. Taking your hand from his own, you slowly got up and limped to Vonnir’s bedside. Sitting down on the edge, you gazed down upon his fever-flushed face.

It was clear that infection had settled in already.

Your heart dropped into your stomach, and you whispered softly.

“My friend, you must pull through. You _must_.”

Vonnir’s eyes fluttered lightly, and his eyes gazed into yours weakly.

“(Y/n)?”

You nodded, his body seeming to relax as your hand rested on his bandaged chest, gently splaying within the thick chest hair that littered his skin. His heart was beating irregularly, and you whispered.

“I am here, my friend. Take it easy.”

“It…It hurts.”

A tear fell from his eye, and you bit your lip. You replied.

“I know, but you must hang on. You are not to leave with Mahal just yet.”

Vonnir nodded slightly, and you sighed lightly, head falling as his eyes fluttered closed again. A hand on your shoulder made you look up, and it was then you noticed the snoring had stopped. Your father stood there before you, his eyes tired and still dirty from the battle.

“Uzfakuh, you shouldn’t be up.”

You swallowed thickly before replying.

“I needed to be with him for a bit.”

Thorin nodded lightly before helping you up, walking you back to your bed and settling you into it.

“I know, but we must not risk you getting infection either. Oin is doing all that he can right now.”

You shook your head, muttering.

“Where is Kili’s One? That elleth should be able to help Vonnir like she did Kili.”

Thorin rubbed his forehead before replying.

“Tauriel is all the way in Mirkwood. It will be too late. We must make-do.”

“ _You_ must make-do. _I_ won’t.”

You hissed, your back protesting greatly as you lied back down. Your father shook his head and murmured while kissing your forehead.

“Do not be difficult with me. This is not up for debate.”

You hissed again, again, and your head fell back against the pillow. Thorin shook his head before ordering.

“Stay in this bed and do not get up again. I’ll send for Oin.”

You gave him a look, and your father glared at you.

“I’m serious, (Y/n).”

You huffed before relaxing, and your father left the room. It was quiet, save for Vonnir’s ragged breathing, and you sighed deeply. Eyes closing, you began to pray to Mahal to be merciful to Vonnir. A moment later, the door opened, and Oin and Thorin walked in.

“It’s good to see that you are awake.”

“Still feel like shit.”

Oin snickered, and your father gave you a look despite the amusement in his eyes. Oin came to your bedside, and you shook your head.

“Go to Vonnir. He needs you more than I do. I will be fine.”

Oin shared a look with your father, and your father nodded before sitting beside you. As Oin worked with Vonnir, your eyes had closed, brows furrowed. Your father began to clean your face, and you asked.

“We were victorious, yes?”

“Yes. Dain was able to drive them away, but I’m afraid that this was no chance battle.”

You hummed and muttered.

“Must be followers of Azog, that piece of filth.”

You hissed when the cold cloth your father had wiped a large cut on your chin, and he hummed.

“Whatever they might be, they will not be taking Erebor.”

You nodded, and Oin sat back, rubbing the back of his neck.

“The infection has spread significantly. I’m afraid that this goes beyond my capabilities. We will need a much more skilled healer or Lady Tauriel if we want to have hope for a chance to save Vonnir.”

Thorin replied, shaking his head.

“Tauriel is in Mirkwood at this moment. She will not arrive in time.”

Oin sighed lightly, biting his lip.

“Then…I’m afraid that there isn’t much that we can do for him unless we get our hands on a much more skilled healer.”

Thorin could see the graveness within Oin’s eyes, and he slowly looked down at you. Your eyes had stayed to the ceiling, looking as though you had been once again struck by a blade. You seemed to have grown pale, and Thorin’s shoulders fell. Bilbo’s head peeked around the doorframe, and Thorin walked out with Oin silently following, shutting the door.

“How is she?”

Bilbo asked. Thorin replied softly.

“She will be alright…but I cannot say the same fate is ensured for Vonnir.”

Bilbo’s shoulders fell slightly, shaking his head.

“The infection has spread too fast.”

Oin spoke up, crossing his arms.

“I wondered if one of the wounds Vonnir had obtained was by a poisoned blade, but we didn’t find any poison.”

Thorin sighed deeply. If there was nothing that they could do, then the only thing that they could do was make sure Vonnir was comfortable. Bilbo spoke up after a pregnant pause, admitting.

“We don’t think that he will live through the night.”

Thorin’s heart dropped to his chest, and he rubbed his forehead. For years, Thorin had watched the friendship between his daughter and Vonnir grow. He had watched Vonnir grow up, and though Thorin would never say it out loud, he had hoped that Vonnir was your One because of how deep your bond with each other was.

If Vonnir was not your One, then Mahal was simply cruel.

Thorin looked back into the room, eyeing Vonnir’s pain-stricken face, and he shook his head.

“This will not be an easy night.”

Bilbo’s lips twitched a bit and he sighed, looking down at his feet before glancing at the Princess, who had long since gone to sleep.

“No, but we can help hold this burden for (Y/n)…and make it as easy as we can for Vonnir.”

Oin and Thorin nodded, and Dwalin walked up to Thorin, Dain by his side.

“The orcs have been fully eradicated. If one escaped, they won’t be alive much longer.”

Dain asked, almost eager as he peeked into the room.

“How is she?”

Thorin replied, scratching his beard as he watched you sleep, though almost restlessly as your brows furrowed.

“She will be alright, but the same fate can hardly be assured for her friend.”

Dain shook his head.

“Stilda is a fine lass. It’s a shame to see such a strong khazad be sent off with Mahal so soon. She’s going to be devastated.”

Thorin nodded before stating.

“He would have made a fine King for (Y/n).”

The dwarves and hobbit were quiet for a moment before a low groan made their eyes turn to the room. Vonnir’s head turned a bit, and Oin walked in, asking.

“How are you doing, lad?”

Vonnir whispered.

“I…I would like some water, please.”

Oin grabbed a goblet and filled it, gently tipping it back into Vonnir’s mouth. Vonnir drank greedily, and soon enough, the goblet was empty. Letting his head fall back into the bed, Vonnir looked at Thorin.

“M-My king…”

Thorin sat beside Vonnir, and Vonnir whispered.

“I tried…I tried to keep her safe…”

“Don’t speak, Vonnir. You need to save what strength you have.”

Vonnir’s breathing was shallow, and he tried to take a couple deep breaths, an acute wheezing coming from his chest.

“Is she okay?”

Thorin nodded.

“Yes, a couple of wounds here and there, but she will pull through.”

Vonnir nodded and mumbled.

“I’m so happy.”

His eyes closed a bit, and he asked after a moment.

“If…if it’s not too much to ask….can I see her?”

Thorin nodded a bit, saying quietly.

“Of course you can, my son.”

Vonnir seemed shocked from Thorin’s words, and Thorin sat up, walking to your bed. He gently cooed to you, waking you from your light sleep.

“My child, you need to wake up.”

Your eyes shot open, and you looked at your father.

“Adad?”

“I’m here. Vonnir is awake and asking for your presence.”

You immediately got up, your father keeping a steady hand on you, and you limped to Vonnir’s bedside. He smiled up at you when he saw you, and your hands intertwined.

“Didn’t think you could carry me up those stairs.”

You shook your head and replied.

“You should know by now not to underestimate me, Vonnir.”

He chuckled a bit before he winced, and you asked him.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Stay with me…stay with me for a while?”

You whispered to him softly, kissing his hand gently.

“I would never dream of leaving you.”

Vonnir smiled kindly up at you, his other hand gently cupping your face, and he mumbled to you.

“You have always been there by my side….haven’t you…always there…”

You bit your lip, nodding. You replied back softly.

“I can’t imagine myself being anywhere else…you were always by my side…it is only fair that I gave you that same privilege.”

Vonnir whispered.

“No, it is not a privilege to have spent my life by your side…it is a blessing.”

Your eyes filled with tears as you looked down at your friend. Vonnir was pale, his drying blood scattered along his battered body. His brown hair was matted, the braids lining his face frizzy and the beads broken or dented. His mouth, surrounded by his brunette hair and braids as well, was in a small smile.

You sniffled, gently caressing his face as you sat beside him on the bed, the room silent except for the sound of your lowly weeping. You whispered to him softly when you could tell that Mahal was starting to call to him.

“ _Hurun ganat, bâheluh_. May Mahal bring you riches that Erebor never could.”

Vonnir smiled weakly, his hand resting on yours gently.

“He brought me you, didn’t he?”

You held in your sobs, though Vonnir could see your face get red from the amount of strength you were using to not cry before him. You were so strong, weren’t you? Of course. It was to be expected from the daughter of Thorin Oakenshield, the King under the Mountain. You sniffled deeply and said to him, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

“Mahal be with you, my dearest friend. May we meet again in Mandos in the halls Mahal has prepared for us…and after Dagor Dagorath in our quest to rebuild Arda.”

Vonnir smiled brightly at you before the light began to fade from his eyes. His hand became limp, slipping from your own, and you could feel your heart beginning to break. Despite his body becoming limp, his smile never left his face, his eyes still gazing into yours, and you finally cried.

It was no booming sobs nor the thunderous cries often heard by those who have lost, but the soft weeping of the yearning heart that filled the room where Death was so ever-present.

You leaned down once more, kissing his forehead.

“Goodnight, _bâheluh_ ….goodnight.”

A hand on your shoulder grabbed your attention, but you dared not to look away from the man you had called your friend for many years.

“Lass, we have to dress him now.”

You sniffled and replied, gently caressing Vonnir’s chilling face, watching as the blood began to slowly drain from his face.

“I wish for a few more moments…I refuse to enlighten the possibility that I forget his face in the coming years…”

Oin sighed lightly before turning away, ushering all but your father from the room. Thorin gazed on at you with sad eyes, wishing there was a way to take your pain from you. However, Thorin knew there was nothing that he could do for you except try to be there for you…but Mahal bless him, he had no idea what he could do. He was flawed when it came to comfort despite being blessed with word.

You swallowed thickly before gently closing his eyes. You whispered softly, knowing that your father was the only one left in the room.

“Even in death, he still wears that stupid smile on his face. A _sanûrzud_.”

Your fingers left his face, and your father blinked softly before replying, his voice almost a lowly whisper as if not to disturb your aching heart.

“Mahal is blessed to have him,” he paused before your father asked you. “What can I do to ease your pain, _uzfakuh_?”

You looked down at your thighs, your hands resting limply within your lap, and you admitted to him.

“There is nothing that you can do, adad. This is a grief that will plague me far more deeply than comfort and words can heal. I lost a great friend today.”

Your cheeks stained with more tears as the reality of it all settled in. You were never going to see your friend again until Mahal called you to Mandos, and you knew that Mahal wouldn’t call you for a very long time. You were destined to be the Queen under the Mountain...Mahal wouldn’t be so cruel as to take you before you could even reign, was he?

Did you even deserve to reign anymore? How could you be the Queen under the Mountain and protect your people if you couldn’t even protect those close to you.

Your father looked on at you, his own grief darkening his visage. He knew that no amount of words could ever heal you from this great loss that you were suffering, but Thorin hoped and prayed to Mahal that you would find comfort within the hearts of those you still had. Thorin was selfish in hoping that it would be him that you would turn to. After all, he was your father and you, his daughter. Thorin wanted nothing more than to be the pillar that you leaned on just like you were his.

“ _Nâthuê kurdu,_ words will never heal a grieving heart, but I pray to Mahal that you know and understand that I will be here waiting for you when you need me.”

You paused a moment before turning to look at him from over your shoulder. Thorin’s eyes softened at the sight of your tear-streaked face, your eyes puffy from your grief, and you sighed lightly, turning away again.

“I understand, adad. I will come to you when I am ready. For now…for now, I would like to be alone with him.”

Thorin nodded lightly.

“Do not hesitate to come to me, _uzfakuh_.”

Without another word, Thorin left, and you were left alone to your own devices. Gently, you caressed Vonnir’s cold skin. In this moment, you wished you had no heart for your pain was far too great. No battle, no years of life lived nor could the stories of death have ever prepared you for the pain of losing a loved one. Sure, you had lost your mother, but it was before you had even taken your first breath. You hadn’t known her, and while Edria, as your father had claimed her name to be, was your mother, you had not mourned her, not even in your beginning years.

This was a death that you could mourn, and your heart did not hesitate to do so.

Gently, you leaned down and kissed Vonnir softly, whispering as you rest your forehead against his own.

“I hope Mahal keeps you warm, my friend.”

Finally, you stood and carefully exited the room, Oin waiting outside the room. He cast you a sympathetic look, and you simply just sighed before walking away, holding a hand to your side. Rubbing your forehead, you could feel yourself becoming fatigued. The trek to your room seemed so long, and when you arrived, all you could do was slip your bloodied boots off and fall face-first into the luxurious blankets and pillows.

Hugging your pillow into your body, your eyebrows furrowed lightly. How was it that this life was cruel to you? Your eyes closed, and you fell into a deep sleep, the exhaustion and grief hanging onto ever fiber of your being.

**-TIMESKIP-**

In the following days, you had attended Vonnir’s funeral and became recluse, a complete change from the once boisterous and confident princess you had been. As the days rolled by, you fell deeper and deeper into your grief. You found yourself too tired too often, often times just staying inside of your room while staring out the window, changing your bandages as often as you needed to.

You had asked your maidens to inform the kingdom that you did not want to be bothered, and so it was. Not even your father was willing to go against your wishes, no matter how much he longed to. When the kingdom began to ask questions about the missing princess of the Lonely Mountain, your father had simply stated that you were still trying to heal from the wounds you had obtained from battle.

The kingdom would not deny that it missed you while most began to spread rumors, as was to be expected. The kingdom was missing its rambunctious, boisterous, and proud princess; the princess that would storm through the halls of Erebor while proudly displaying the meat she had been able to catch to feed her people. It missed the warrior-maiden that would storm through the halls after a successful battle she had willingly joined in, chanting her victories through the halls with drink and song.

The kingdom was quiet without the confident and loud Princess (Y/n).

Some had speculated that you had run away after the battle with a lover to live a much happier life, some had even speculated that you had passed, but your father cared not to elaborate. It was strictly your business, and you would come forth when you felt the time was right.

You had begun to lose weight, not even having motivation to fully eat whatever food your maidens would bring you. Perhaps an apple here or there, but never a full meal. You could hardly stomach much. You were sure that you had begun to smell as well, only bathing when you felt motivated to or when you felt comfortable enough to allow your maidens to bathe you.

Your maidens were growing concerned each day that passed, and while they didn’t want to possibly anger the King, they also didn’t want something to happen to you. You paid them no mind.

However, your grief had begun to turn into something far uglier than even Smaug himself.

Often times, you found yourself wondering if it would even be worth living on without your friend. Besides, his death had been your fault, had it not? Had you been more vigilant…had you kept your eyes on him…he would be here by your side and not with Mahal in Mandos. You could have done so much better, but you had failed. What kind of princess were you? What kind of heir were you to allow your own kin to die?

It spiraled you into a deep madness; a damaging sickness that kept your heart locked within the tiny cage enclosing it. You did not gain your wake-up call until the last light of Durin’s Day. While festivities ensued throughout the kingdom, you had found yourself climbing out of your window and up the side of the walls of the kingdom, crawling up to the very top of the front gate to Erebor.

The wind kissed your cold and fragile skin, the cold settling in deeply as you kept your forehead against the wall, not yet ready to look down upon the world. However, after a moment, you finally turned to gaze upon the realm. Almost instantly, it took your breath away.

As the last moon of Autumn and the first sun of Winter shined in the sky, it cast the land before you in beautiful light. The city of Dale was lit in beautiful light, people in the streets and dancing as music echoed from the lively city. For a moment, all that you could do was stare.

This was what your father had promised you.

A land of prosperity and beauty recovered from the desolation of Smaug and the battle of the five armies; music, love, and laughter filling the once-vacant halls and vacant walls of Dale and the kingdom of Erebor as he recreated the home his ancestors had dreamed of. He had promised you a just and righteous kingdom for you to grow up in and thrive in so that you may one day take the throne for your own.

Is this what you wanted to throw away?

Did you really want to throw all of this away because of your grief? Yes, you had cared about Vonnir deeply, but these were your people. These were the ones that you swore you would protect and honor the moment the crown depicted you as queen and not just a princess.

And what about your father?

Your father depended on you just like you depended on him. After losing his One, you were all he had left. His only child that he would ever have, and here you were ready to take that from him. You had no right. You had no right to call yourself neither a princess nor a daughter…and never the future Queen of Erebor.

Climbing down carefully, you bit your lip as you sniffled, the cold sinking deep into your weak body. Wrapping yourself up in your fur coat, you sighed and gazed at yourself in the mirror. You were pale, eyes and cheeks slightly sunken in, and you noticed that your body seemed…smaller. Your stomach growled, and you hungrily began to eat the food that had been brought to your chamber moments before your climbing expedition to the top of the front gate.

Cheeses and bread; goat meat and vegetables filled your stomach, and already, color began to crawl back into your face. You washed your face and hair, brushing through the ratted tangles before rebraiding some of the braids. Your eyes fell onto the braid that your father had done for you, the family crest of the bead he had used to seal the braid glinting in the light. Gently, you rubbed at the bead, your heart falling into your chest. How cruel it was of you to neglect your own kin.

Drying your hair quickly, you made yourself presentable, wearing a dark blue tunic and black trousers, adorning silver and gold jewelry and lacing up your leather boots. You would not allow your father, the king, to see his daughter in such a state of wear-and-tear.

Coming out of your room, one of the maidens was coming to your room to seemingly check on you. The dwarrowdam’s eyes widened at the sight of you, and she bowed deeply.

“Her Majesty…!”

You swallowed thickly, almost feeling embarrassed, and you asked.

“Please, you do not bow to me. Where is my father?”

The maiden replied to you, standing up straight.

“Your father is in his chambers. Shall I call to him that you are requesting his presence?”

You shook your head, already beginning to walk to your father’s bedroom.

“No need to bother. I have legs.”

As you approached his room, your heart began to drop in anxiety, and you thickly swallowed as you stood before his door. Bringing your hand up, your knuckles rapped against the door. Your father’s voice smoothly came through.

“Come in.”

You slowly opened the door, almost shy, and your father looked up at you from his desk. His eyes widened lightly, and he said quietly.

“ _Uzfakuh_ …!”

Thorin was heartbroken when he set his eyes upon you. Despite looking very cleaned up, it was evident how much of a toll your grief had taken on you. You seemed lighter in weight, your cheeks and eyes sunken slightly and reminding him of an elf, though much more sickly and tired. Your eyes were ringed in red from lack of sleep, bags beneath your eyes, and Thorin wondered how often you had actually slept.

Your fingers twiddled together, and for a moment, it was quiet before Thorin watched your eyes well up with tears. You walked to him, and Thorin gladly welcomed you up into his arms as you climbed into his lap like you used to when you were younger.

You held onto him tightly, silently weeping, and you asked him softly after a moment, his large hand running up and down your back soothingly as he whispered comforting words to you.

“Does it ever get easier, _adad_? Does this pain ever go away? Every time I think of finally letting Vonnir go, he comes back to haunt me in my dreams…and while I welcome his presence, I cannot stand to be within it knowing that it was I that had failed him.”

You clutched onto your father’s tunic tightly, teeth clenching as you vented.

“I found myself becoming selfish…and I stood upon the top of the front gate of Erebor, looking out at the land you had promised me…and I had intended to jump from it….seeking any way to end this ache that pulses below my breast.”

Your father tightened his hold on you slightly, terrified at the thought of you ending your own life…of losing his child. However, he stayed silent, knowing that you were not quite done just yet.

“I looked out at the land that you had promised me, listening to our people rejoice for the coming season, and it was then as the last light of Durin’s Day shined upon your kingdom that I remember who I am and who I am meant to be…but how may I be the future Queen of Erebor…how may I protect the people you have promised me when I can’t protect those who are the closest to me?”

You cried softly and pleaded.

“ _Adad_ …please, Mahal have mercy on me, I am so lost.”

Your father was quiet for a moment before he pushed you back to gaze into your eyes, cupping your face and resting his forehead against your own.

“ _Nâthuê kurdu_ , you are not lost. You have never been for I have been here with you…standing beside you as your King and father.”

Thorin’s eyes teared up lightly, and he whispered to you.

“ _Menu tessu_ …it would be I that is lost if you breathe your last breath before I breathed mine. You are young…and you still have so much to learn, _uzfakuh_. The loss that you suffered was far greater than any of us could have ever thought…and I hold regret within me for being negligent of you. I should have been paying more attention to you, but I overestimated you. I am sorry, my dearest child.”

You cried, shaking your head.

“No, you do not apologize to me when it is I that has been hurting you and your kingdom.”

You looked down, your tears falling onto his tunic and staining the fabric a much darker blue than it was, and you whispered as you clutched his face a bit tighter.

“ _Gajut men, adad._ I have been so selfish and have forgotten the _khajima_ Mahal blessed me with….I have neglected my duties as your child…and as Princess of Erebor. I have allowed my heart to grieve and become sick. _Gajut men, adad…gajuet men._ ”

“You do not apologize to me, (Y/n). There is no wrong here to be forgiven.”

Your father cupped your face, kissing your forehead and temple before bringing you in closely. You wept against his shoulder, and his hand ran through your hair comfortingly, gently comforting you. After a moment, your cries had finally calmed, and your father pulled back to gently wipe your face dry.

“ _Uzfakuh_ , you need not worry or feel ashamed…even the strongest of dwarrows can be overcome with a sickness far greater than they can handle.”

He knew that very well himself. His lips kissed your forehead again, his beard scratching your skin. His fingers brushed back your hair lightly, and he sighed at the frizzy and messed up braid that he had braided into your hair when you had reached your maturity. It was a familial braid, expertly interwoven into a tight braid that was locked with a bead engraved with the family crest. You had not touched nor unlocked the braid since you had come of age, but it seemed that you father was willing to unlock it despite tradition that a locked braid should be undone except in the case of the hair becoming too long to hold the length of the braid, disowning, divorce, or death.

Your father pried the bead open, and he slowly took the braid apart, brushing the hair out. You stayed silent as he worked, his fingers lathering in a conditioning oil that would heal any strands of your hair that had become damaged. Slowly, he began to rebraid the hair, weaving the strands together incredibly tight so that it would not come undone or become frizzy too soon. His fingers weaved and tugged, but you paid no mind to the occasional tugging.

“ _Uzfakuh_ , I want you to promise me something.”

You looked into your father’s eyes, his eyes glancing into your own before looking down at your braid.

“When you feel the weight of Arda pulling you down…and you feel that there is no other way than death to escape that burden, allow me to be your way. Allow me to carry your burden so that death may not take you so soon. I could never live on knowing that you have breathed your last breath when I could have helped you to breathe one more. How may I be a king if I can’t even be a father to my only child?”

You looked away in shame, and your father gently grabbed your chin, turning your face to him.

“Do not look away as if your face makes me ashamed, _nâthuê kurdu_. I will never be ashamed of my own kin, no matter how sick their heart has become. I have no right to judge when I, too, had fallen into a deep sickness once.”

You blinked and asked quietly.

“You were sick like me once?”

“Not entirely like yours…but it was a shameful sickness. Dragon sickness plagued me when the company and I first reclaimed our homeland. The dragon’s hoard made me a different king…a tyrant upon his pile of riches. I almost killed Master Baggins and Dwalin in my haze of greed…and almost cost us Erebor had I not been shaken back into my senses.”

Your father hadn’t spoken much about the reclamation of Erebor, except for just that they had been able to reclaim it from Smaug. He didn’t enjoy speaking about the events that had transpired afterward either. You didn’t enjoy hearing about it. Knowing that there had been a chance that your father could have died just days after reclaiming Erebor hurt your heart, and you were glad that your father hadn’t been killed that fateful day.

“I will live by my words. _Menu tessu_ ….I will shout it from the gates of Erebor if I have to. You are worth more than any wealth Erebor could pour into this realm. I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

He rest his forehead against yours, one hand holding the braid so it wouldn’t come undone and his other hand held your cheek. He brushed his thumb against your cheek, and he whispered.

“Mahal blessed me when he gave me you…and though you are in my image; your mother is reflected within your eyes.”

You closed your eyes and asked.

“Is it wrong for me to not miss a mother I never knew?”

Thorin’s heart sank slightly, but he answered instead.

“No, I will never shame you.”

Your father went back to braiding your hair, and you replied softly.

“Some of the maidens think it’s strange that I don’t miss my _amad_ …but I’ve come to believe that I don’t need an _amad_ when I’ve had you.”

Your father seemed to puff with pride at your words, touched deeply that you felt he was capable enough of raising you alone. Losing his One had hurt him deeply, but Thorin never wasted a second of raising you instead of grieving. When he had thrown a huge celebration after the victory of the Battle of the Five Armies, he had met his One. They had ruled for about two years before they had you, eager to keep the line of Durin going. Edria had died in child birth, and while Thorin had suffered a great loss, he had gained a great deal.

You made the walls of the underground kingdom seem so bright, and he enjoyed all of the memories that he had of you so far. Finishing your braid, he clasped the bead back over it. Thorin was quiet before he replied softly.

“It does me a great honor to know that I’ve raised you so well despite the loss we had both suffered. I thank Mahal every day for you.”

Your father kissed your forehead again before he stood up.

“Come, they will be serving food soon, and you must eat. You’ve become alarmingly thin.”

Your father held your hand, and you were slow to come up from your seat. You mumbled softly, still looking down at the ground.

“I don’t wish for the company to see me as such. I look terrible.”

Thorin shook his head lightly, kissing your head softly.

“Think no such way. You will become healthy again once you have much more food and drink than you have had.”

Your father pulled you along gently, and you followed after him. As you passed by the guards, their eyes followed you, making you shrink into your father’s side, and he said calmly.

“Be still, _uzfakuh_ , there is no judgment within these halls.”

You simply stayed quiet, eyes to the ground. Thorin sighed lightly. It would take a while for you to become the you that Thorin knew, but even then, you wouldn’t truly be the same you. The doors to the dining room opened, and you swallowed thickly when you spied the whole company, even Bilbo, and some of your father’s advisors at the long table. When they spied you, their eyes widened.

It had been months since you had been in the public eye, and now that they saw you, they were only relieved. You took another breath as they all stood, and your father led you to the end of the long table, pulling out your chair for you. You sat down slowly, nodding your head at everyone as you did so, and you father pushed in your chair for you. Taking a seat beside you, servants began to bring the food in. Balin greeted you warmly.

“It’s great to see you once more, (Y/n).”

Your ears burned and you adjusted yourself in your seat, saying softly.

“It is rewarding being among you again.”

Your father smiled lightly, and Fili and Kili gave each other a look before they smiled at you.

“(Y/n), you should come with us to Dale! I hear the pub is going to be very busy.”

A few of the dwarves gave hearty responses, and you rubbed the back of your neck.

“I don’t know if that’s a very good idea.”

“Come on, (Y/n)! We haven’t seen you in forever!”

Bilbo shook his head lightly, taking a piece of bread from his plate.

“Maybe we shouldn’t flock to her. This is her first public appearance in a while after all.”

Thorin gave Bilbo an appreciate look before agreeing.

“Aye, Master Baggins is right. (Y/n) needs to readjust back to normal life before you drag her to Dale for a night of foolery.”

Fili and Kili pouted, and you gently touched Fili’s hand.

“Next time, we can go. I just need time right now.”

Fili smiled and patted your hand.

“Don’t worry, time is in your hands and your hands only.”

You nodded lightly, and the dwarves began to eat. You had noticed throughout the feast that some of the advisors that you did not recognize were giving you dark looks, and you were slightly confused as to why these advisors were vexed by you. One of them coughed lightly and turned to your father.

“My King, if I may speak boldly, why do you allow your escort to be seated with us? The king’s table is no place for lowly commoners.”

The whole table seemed to still, and when your father’s eyes flashed and mouth opened, you held up your hand to silence him. Your father looked surprised, but you were stoic as you glared at the dwarf that had dared speak such a way about you. You said loudly, letting your hand fall to the table.

“I do not believe it is your place to speak for the King. Might I remind you that it is a privilege to be seated before your king, not a right.”

The dwarf went red in the face, and he yelled, standing up.

“How dare you speak to me in such a way, you lowly whore! I am one of the highest members of the _Khazâd_ council! I have more of a right to be seated before the king than you do!”

You stood up, slamming your hands on the table and leaning towards him.

“ _Itkit_! I have the only right to be seated before the king as the daughter of Thorin, the son of Thrain, the son of Thror, the princess under the mountain, and I will demand your respect and silence, _A'lâju Mahal_!”

The table was quiet, and you snarled loudly, your hand that was clutching the table snapping the wood from how hard you had been grasping it.

“Make no mistake that if you ever speak to me like that again, I will personally cut your tongue straight from your throat and feed it to your kin. You should make yourself familiar with the kin of the King before assuming they are lowly whores and commoners, you piece of filth.”

The advisor swallowed thickly and you leaned back, fixing your posture and you scoffed at him, raising your nose at him.

“I may not dress like a proper Royal, but I am no less the princess no matter if I have not been present for a day, a week, or however long Mahal decides for me; no matter if I wear the dresses of commoners, the armor of warriors, or the royal robes. Royal blood runs through my veins and you _will_ acknowledge it….unless you would rather take your leave from Erebor and never return.”

The dwarf’s eyes widened, and he guffawed.

“You can’t possibly be serious!”

You glared at him and asked.

“Does it look like I’m fucking joking?”

He sputtered, and you stayed glaring at the dwarf before he admitted defeat and sat back down quietly. Grabbing your plate, you gathered food on it before scoffing at the dwarf.

“You are a disgrace to your council and a disgrace to us all. Good day.”

You walked from the dining hall, your teeth digging into the large turkey thigh that you had grabbed. The food that graced your mouth made your stomach growl loudly, and you hungrily devoured the meat as you walked back to your chambers. Your maidens were in the room, cleaning it, and they seemed surprised to see you back from dinner.

“Her majesty-“

“-Please, you are safe to address me as my given name within these walls.”

Hora, the eldest of the two maidens within the room, gave you a small smile. Her younger sister, Mora, stayed shy.

“You are far too kind, (Y/n). May I ask why you are back so soon?”

“Insolent advisors. So naïve to not recognize the Princess…though, I must admit that I do not seem the same.”

You glanced at your reflection in your mirror and you sighed before moping into the turkey thigh. Hora clicked her tongue, shaking her head as she began to brush your hair.

“You may seem to be different, but you are no less the Princess that Mahal has blessed us with. Grief can change us in many ways, my lady.”

You sighed, and she smiled at you. Mora asked softly.

“Do you wish for me to draw you a bath? Baths make me feel better when I’m upset.”

You nodded lightly.

“That would be very nice, Mora. Please, both of you make sure to grab something to eat. If anybody questions you, you tell them that I gave you the permission to take your extra servings.”

Hora smiled.

“You might be changed, but your kindness has never wavered. You will make a very fine Queen one day, my lady.”

You hummed as you finished off the meat on your plate and began to eat at the vegetables and fruit, taking a hearty sip of your ale and devouring the cheeses on your plate. Mora came back, asking softly from below her golden eyelashes, her brown eyes shyly looking to you.

“Do you desire any specific oils for your bath and hair, my lady?”

You hummed softly, your eyes closing as Hora brushed out your hair.

“Whatever oils you like, I will have.”

Mora nodded, blushing lightly and disappeared back into the washroom. A knocking came from your door, and Hora pulled back from your hair to answer the door. Your father was standing there, obviously stressed, a dangerous gleam within his eyes. He gruffly ordered.

“Leave us; I have important matters to discuss with my kin.”

Hora and Mora left the room quickly, and you gazed at your father with curiosity. When the door closed, your father said to you.

“I did not expect such foul words to come from a member of our council. I apologize, (Y/n).”

You scoffed and muttered, taking a large bite of a piece of honey bread you had been able to snag from the table.

“It is not your place to apologize for someone else’s insolence. I admit that I do look very different from the Princess that I was, but my words still stand.”

You straightened up lightly, taking a deep breath before looking at your father.

“I am your daughter, the Princess of Erebor, no matter how different I become. I am of your blood and that will never change….even if I do.”

You rubbed your forehead, giving a noise of irritation.

“I admit that now that I have come to my senses, I have grown increasingly irritated within the past few moments. Am I really so changed that I am mistaken for a whore?”

Your father shook his head, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Do not speak of yourself like that. Grief can be very changing, but that change isn’t always permanent. You just need time. I admit that I was surprised when you spoke against him so soon…but I shouldn’t be so surprised when my blood does indeed run through your veins.”

Your father smiled lightly, and your ears went red lightly.

“I will never cease to be proud and amazed by you, _Uzfakuh_.”

Thorin kissed your head, and you mumbled to him.

“Just because I am sick does not mean I will not defend my honor. The scum had it coming anyway.”

“Indeed, he did.”

Your father caught a whiff of the oils Mora had been preparing, and he murmured softly.

“I will finish drawing the bath for you. Finish eating, and then I will wash your hair.”

“ _Adad_ , you don’t have to do that.”

Thorin gave you a look.

“Do not deny me time with you, (Y/n). I haven’t seen you for over a moon. I would like to catch up on all of the time that I lost with you as soon as I possibly can.”

You mumbled, throwing a grape into your mouth.

“You’re so stubborn, _adad_.”

Your father chuckled and disappeared into the washroom. In no time, steam rolled from under the door, and he opened it. The sleeves of his tunic were rolled up, his trousers the same as well. He gestured with his head for you, and you walked into the room. Turning, you began to push him out, almost seeming to beat against his back as you pushed.

“Kin or not, I will not be undressing in front of you.”

“Mahal, you don’t have to be so pushy.”

Your father teased lightly, purposefully leaning back on you. You grunted when his weight began to fall onto you, and you yelled to him.

“ _Adad_ , I will throw you across this room!”

He laughed and teased.

“Forgive me; I seem to have become suddenly exhausted.”

“ _Adad_!”

He chuckled and straightened himself, walking out and saying.

“Call for me when you are finished. Leave your hair. I will wash it for you.”

You nodded and he closed the door. Turning to the basin, bubbles from luxurious and imported soaps almost overflowing the basin. You quickly undressed, grimacing at the sight of your thinned body. You were still very muscular, as was common for all dwarves, but the weight that accompanied your mature body had fallen off, leaving slightly smoother skin than the usual toned valleys and pudges of fat that graced your vessel.

Settling into the hot water, you sighed deeply, allowing your head to hang from the side as the bubbles swallowed your body, and you called softly.

“Okay…you can come in, _adad_.”

Your father walked in, and smiled lightly at you. Grabbing a small pot filled with steaming water, the smell of (smell) oils wafting up into your nose, he sat behind you and began to gently brush your hair.

“What happened after I left dinner?”

Thorin dipped the brush into the steaming water and began to brush it through your hair again, saying.

“Despite your words putting him in his place, I felt it was not enough. I had his seat upon our council revoked. The rest of the company had not been pleased by his behavior either.”

You hummed lightly, eyes closing as your father began to wash your scalp, his fingers massaging gently into your scalp.

“I would have loved to see the fear in his eyes as he faced his King had I not been tired of his shit so soon.”

Your father smirked lightly.

“Dis would not be pleased to hear those words come from you, you know.”

“Dis is not my _amad_ , so she has no reason to be angry. I don’t know why she tries so hard to coach me on how to be a proper lady when I think I’ve been doing just fine as is.”

Thorin replied, gently pouring the water through your hair to wash the soap and oil from your hair.

“Dis is just trying to teach you the ways of dwarrowdams the way your mother should have. Had Dis had more of a say, you would have grown up in proper dwarrowdam garbs instead of trousers and tunics like us dwarrows.”

You asked softly.

“How come you didn’t do so yourself? Wouldn’t you have rather a proper princess instead of…well, me?”

Thorin sighed lightly before admitting.

“I did not care about how you dressed. I cared more for the fact that you were with me.”

“Do you still not care?”

“Of course I don’t.”

You both chuckled lightly and you sighed softly.

“I wonder when _adadnamad_ will come by. It has been a while since we have seen her.”

Your father began to lather more oils into your hair, pulling it down through your locks as he replied.

“She is in the Iron Hills with Dain at the moment, but she will return soon.”

You nodded lightly, and it was quiet for a moment before your father began to softly hum. You couldn’t place the song, but it was a familiar tune. Your mind began to wander to Vonnir, and you sighed lightly. Even despite actively trying to get over him, thoughts of him filtered into your brain every now and then. You were definitely going to miss him. You wondered if he was parading around the hall Mahal prepared in Mandos, shouting pub songs and filling himself heartily with drink….entertaining the folk just like he did when he still walked among the dwarves.

You asked softly, opening your eyes to look up at your father as he brushed out your hair again.

“ _Adad_ , are dwarves able to court again even after meeting their One?”

Thorin hummed.

“Yes, but we will never truly love. Once a dwarrow loses their One, it is…a very changing experience. Some dwarrows are even killed from the pure sorrow that floods their heart.”

Thorin smiled lightly, kissing your forehead.

“But luckily, I had you to keep me grounded.”

You blinked lightly and hummed.

“Do you think you’d ever take a Queen for Erebor? I must admit that I do thoroughly enjoy it just being you and I, but if you choose to take a bride, I will not object…only silently brood like you do.”

You both chuckled and Thorin replied honestly.

“I do not see myself taking another bride after your mother…I had my time to love and celebrate…and I still have my One with me for she lives on within you, uzfakuh.”

You sighed lightly.

“I cannot share the same sentiment as you do…but I hope it brings you joy nonetheless.”

Your father smiled down at you and he began to dry your hair, wringing it out before tying it up for you, wrapping it into a tight bun so none of it would fall into the water. Your father stood up, and you asked him softly.

“Adad, will you…play the harp and sing for me?”

Your father blinked before smiling lightly, nodding.

“I will be right back.”

You nodded, and in the time of his absence, you washed your body, scrubbing and dirt and grime from your body. Grabbing a bit of the oil/soap mixture Mora had prepared for you, you gently scrubbed it all around your body. The smell calmed you, and your father knocked on the door before walking in, a small harp cradled in his arms.

He set it down on a desk within the washroom before walking back out again, handing you a mug of tea. You smiled, taking the cup, and you slowly sipped it as your father began to sing and play for you, leaning against the bath with his back to you.

As he sang, you slipped into a relaxing calm, simply listening as he sang old songs and played his lap harp so skillfully. You smiled as your father sang his low notes, his voice vibrating through his chest, and you sloshed the water around a bit. Grabbing some of the bubbles, you plopped them on top of his head, making your father pause.

“(Y/n), what did you just do?”

His hand came up to grab at the mound of bubbles on his head, and he turned to you, giving you a disapproving look. You simply splashed his face, and your father closed his eyes.

“Child…!”

He wiped his face before scooping up some of the soap beside the tub and throwing it at you. You squealed when it hit your chin and neck, and you threw it back at him before ducking beneath the water. You held your breath, slowly letting out air bubbles so you could stay beneath the water longer. Hands grabbed you from beneath your armpits and you squealed as you came up. Your father chuckled and said.

“You can’t escape me, uzfakuh. Now come on, you’re going to get wrinkly from being in there for too long. The water is getting cold.”

You hummed before your father handed you towels to dry with. He walked out of the washroom, and you dried yourself off. Grabbing your night clothes, you slipped them on before drying your hair, rubbing a towel within your hair. When you were dry, you walked out to your father silently looking out the window, his fingers rubbing his chin, and he turned when you placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Adad?”

He smiled softly, nodding, and wrapped his arm around your back, leading you to the bed. Gently, he tucked you in and for a moment it was quiet before he asked you.

“(Y/n), I have a very important question to ask you.”

You looked up at him, asking as he gently caressed your head.

“What is it, adad?”

He was quiet, seeming to weigh the pros and cons of asking whatever he wanted to ask you. He sighed before asking you.

“I wanted to ask you if Vonnir was your One. Losing your One is a devastating time…and with knowing how close you two have been your days of naming…I’m afraid that your One was taken from you too soon.”

You shook your head, ears reddening.

“No, Vonnir was not my One….but perhaps, he should have been.”

Your eyes became sad, and you sighed.

“Maybe, in a way, he was my One…but not my true One…”

Your father smiled lightly.

“Perhaps.”

Leaning down, he kissed your forehead, whispering to you softly.

“Hurun ganat, nâthuê kurdu.”

“Hurun, ganat, adad.”

 _Goodnight_.


	2. Embarking on the Journey to Make Amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided the story was too good to leave it by itself, so I decided to write more to the story. I truly do hope that you enjoy it!

Small eyes were wide with wonder as they watched the snow fall, the sky slightly darkened from the snowy clouds above. Small hands gripped the windowsill as the child watched the sky, and a sigh came from the desk beside the young dwarfling. The dwarfling pointed out the window, looking beside the desk at the older male sitting in the large chair and writing.

“Adad, look! It’s snowing!”

Blue eyes fluttered away from the paper beneath his hands and to his child, soft and watchful as the father looked on outside.

“Indeed it is, Uzfakuh.”

“I wanna go outside.”

Thorin sighed and replied softly, giving his daughter a look.

“My child, it’s too late for you to be outside.”

You pouted and replied, hands coming up to grasp the oak table, eyes just barely peeking over the table-top.

“But Adad, I wanna go!”

Thorin sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead a bit, and you began to tug on his tunic sleeves. Thorin looked over at you, intending to give you a disapproving look, but when he spied your grabby hands at him, all intention to scold you washed away. Thorin picked you up and set you within his lap, your hands immediately coming up to play with his hair.

“Why can’t I go outside, Adad?”

“Because it’s too late.”

You pouted again and looked up at him and replied.

“But Fee and Kee are going to go out…”

Your father chuckled lightly.

“That is because they are much older than you, uzfakuh.”

You huffed before getting an idea.

“Can we go then?”

“I’m sorry, but I have much work to get done before the sun’s to rise again.”

“Can I go with Fee and Kee then?”

Your father sighed. You were a relentless little fiend, but Mahal, if Thorin didn’t love you. However, he wasn’t very sure about the idea of leaving you with his nephews. Yes, he loved them very much and they were very capable of taking care of you…but they weren’t exactly _responsible_ when foolery was afoot. Thorin stood up, keeping you hitched against his hip, and he began to walk to Fili’s chambers, where his nephews were most likely preparing for the night.

Knocking on the door, Fili answered almost immediately, dressed in a simple brown tunic with darker brown trousers to match.

“Hello, Uncle, how may I be of service?”

You smiled as you spied Fili, and reached for him. Fili smiled and took you into his arms, giving your temple a light kiss.

“Hello, little thief, have you not been to the kitchens yet?”

“No, Vonnir is back home with his amad in the Iron Hills.”

Thorin and Fili chuckled, and Thorin stated.

“I know you and Kili intend to go to Dale, but it seems that (Y/n) would like to come along.”

Kili peeked his head out from Fili’s bath chambers, blinking a bit.

“I don’t think they’ll allow her in the pub, Uncle.”

“Then you’ll have to skip the pub tonight.”

Kili pouted a bit.

“Aw, but Uncle! They were going to have a good celebration tonight!”

Thorin gave Kili a look when you became a bit saddened, and Fili replied albeit his mood dampened at the thought of having to skip the pub.

“That’s alright, Uncle. We can always go to the pub tomorrow.”

Your fingers played with one of the beads of Fili’s beard, and you exclaimed.

“I want a bead like Fili’s, adad!”

“Are yours not enough?”

Thorin asked teasingly, raising his salt-and-pepper brow at you, and you shook your head before grabbing a lock of hair from Fili and draping it over your top lip as if to have a beard.

“No, I have to have beads like Fili’s for my beard!”

Fili and Thorin chuckled once more, and you smiled, allowing the hair to fall back to Fili’s shoulders. Handing you back to Thorin, Fili sighed lightly before saying.

“Kili and I will be finished dressing soon. We can meet at the front gate.”

Thorin nodded and turned to walk away. You called over his shoulder, waving furiously.

“See you, Fee!”

Fee nodded at you before his door closed, and you giggled in excitement, squirming in your father’s arms a bit as you wiggled in your high spirits. Your father sighed, a fond smile on his face.

He could never refuse his kin, could he? So tightly wrapped around your finger, and you didn’t even know it. Thorin walked back to your chambers, setting you down and beginning to get you dressed for the cold weather.

“Adad, why can’t you come with Fee and Kee?”

“I have very important tasks that require my immediate attention.”

He began to lace your boots up, and you pouted.

“But you always have those.”

Thorin sighed lightly, replying softly.

“That is what it takes to be a King, my child. One day, you will take my place and do these same tasks.”

You hummed lightly, exclaiming.

“I wanna have a big crown like yours!”

Thorin smiled and kissed your forehead.

“And a big crown you will have for your big head.”

He blew a teasing raspberry into your cheek, and you yelled out with laughter, pushing his face away. Thorin chuckled at you before slipping your coat onto your shoulders.

“Come along, uzfakuh.”

He grabbed your hand, and you walked beside him, your braids bouncing with your chipper steps. Thorin’s hand was large within your small one, almost enclosing all around it without struggle. It made him remember just how fragile you actually were as a dwarfling…and it made him almost giddy from how many years he would have with you being so small.

Thorin dreaded the day you would grow up and come of age, but alas, he was not a commander of time and could not still your growth. Besides, how could you take his kingdom after him if you were stuck as a child? Thorin’s mind paused a bit.

He did have Fili, didn’t he? Fili would make a fine ruler of Erebor…it almost tempted him to just take his princess and leave back to the Blue Mountains to live a quieter life with his child, but alas, that was not his destiny. Perhaps, in a much different life, he could do so. Thorin turned a couple corners, and when you spied Fee and Kee waiting by the gates, deep in conversation, you yelled out.

“Fee! Kee!”

You began to giggle and try to drag your father to hurry him along, pulling as hard as you could on his hand. Thorin chuckled at your vigorous antics and greeted his nephews.

“Sister-sons, I want you to keep a very watchful eye on your cousin. If _anything_ should happen to her…”

His voice trailed off to a dark note as he gave the two a look, and Kili swallowed a bit while Fili nodded at Thorin.

“No need to worry, Uncle, she is safe with us.”

“Yeah, no need to worry, Uncle! Isn’t that right, Princess?”

You nodded furiously, wiggling within your spot at the excitement running through you. Your father nodded approvingly, and he leaned down to pick you up, whispering to you and kissing your temple firmly.

“I love you so much, my dear child. Please listen to your cousins and stay by their side. Do not stray from their watchful eyes.”

You gave your father a kiss, his beard scratching your face as you did so.

“I’ll be a good girl, I promise! I love you too, adad!”

Your father smiled warmly at you before allowing you down, your hand immediately finding Fili’s. Fili smiled down at you before nodding to Thorin.

“We’ll be back before the moon shines brightly within the sky.”

Kili smiled widely, pointing out.

“Perhaps we could make the pub tonight still if we do so! The night is only just beginning, brother.”

“Aye, that is very true. Come along now, Princess, we have no time to waste!”

You looked back at your father, waving and shouting as Fili picked you up and began to speed-walk away.

“Bye-bye, Adad! I love you!”

Your father nodded at you, and you disappeared behind the doors leading to the outside. An emptiness filled Thorin’s chest, already missing your presence, and he shook his head. How tightly wrapped he was around your finger…Thorin could only imagine the day you would grow up, become queen and perhaps get married…Thorin sighed at the thought.

If only you could stay forever young without consequence.

Turning, Thorin walked back to his chambers to complete his work.

\---

“Oh god, Uncle is going to kill us.”

Kili stated with exasperation as his head whipped every which direction, his brown eyes desperately searching for the small child he had lost track of. His older brother, Fili, gazed on at Kili with widening eyes.

“You lost (Y/n)?!”

Kili ran a hand through his hair, gripping slightly as the busy streets of Dale hustled with humans and dwarves alike. There was no sign of the small child, and Kili could feel his heart dropping to his stomach every second he didn’t lay his eyes upon her. It had only been two hours into being in Dale, and he had already lost his cousin.

“I swear on Mahal’s beard that she was right beside me, and then she wasn’t!”

“Kili!”

Fili hissed before beginning to spin around, calling for the child. 

"Where does a child hide in a city like this?”

“I don’t know, but we have to find her before Uncle finds out!”

Fili and Kili began to search through the markets, asking if any of the merchants had seen the princess, but none had seen the dwarfling. Meanwhile, mischievous eyes were focused on the bakery shop on the East side of Dale, small palms plastered against the window as the child stared in at the sweets. Mouth practically watering as she spied the sweet honey-and-milk bread, she jumped a bit when the baker poked his head out the door.

“Looks good, huh?”

The Princess turned to gaze at the baker, and his eyes widened when he spied the Princess and not a random child.

“Princess, what are you doing out here by yourself?”

You simply gazed at him before pointing to the sweet bread on display.

“Want!”

The baker shook his head lightly to himself before ushering you inside.

“Come on, princess, let’s get you out of the cold. You must be freezing!”

You smiled at the smell of the sweets, and the baker picked you up, placing you upon the counter. He asked you again.

“Now, what are you doing out here, Princess? Where are your guards?”

You stared at the sweet honey bread sitting on a basket on the counter, and the baker sighed before handing you a slice. You beamed and began to eagerly eat the sweet, your cheeks bulging from how big of a bite you took.

“Fee and Kee went to the pub.”

You mumbled from around your bite of food, and the baker tilted his head before realizing you meant the princes.

“They left you?”

You began to twiddle your fingers, looking away bashfully.

“No…”

“You ran from them?”

Your eyes filled with tears and you quickly sobbed out.

“I’m sorry! I won’t run away from them again!”

The baker’s eyes widened and he replied, pushing the basket of sweet bread towards you.

“No, no, no, it’s alright! Don’t cry!”

Mahal, bless him. If any of the Royals found the Princess crying in his presence, the King would surely have his head. For a while, the baker let you sit there, eating any scraps he had left, and the Baker trying to figure out how to get the attention of the royals without risking his bakery and his life.

Suddenly, three hours after having been brought into the bakery, there was a commotion of loud voices outside, and the Baker went out to see Fili and Kili desperately asking around for the city-goers to find the Princess. In relief, the baker called.

“Princes, the Princess is inside my shop!”

Fili and Kili perked up before looking at each other for a moment. They dashed to the bakery and when they filed in, they both sighed in relief.

“Oh mahal! You gave us such a scare, (Y/n)!”

Fili tutted at you, grabbing the half-eaten cookie from your greedy hands and scolding you.

“You should never run off like that again. What if someone tried to hurt you or worse?”

You began to sob again.

“I’m sorry, Fee! I didn’t mean to!”

Fili sighed before gathering you up in his arms, hugging you tightly. He turned to the baker and thanked him.

“Thank you for keeping her safe. Mahal knows what Uncle would have done had we not found her.”

The baker laughed nervously, hands behind his back.

“Oh, no, it was no trouble at all. I think she just got enraptured by the sweets.”

The baker seemed to puff his chest a bit in pride, and Kili grinned, poking your red nose.

“You little rascal! I told you we would find her in the bakery, Fili.”

Fili gave Kili a look, muttering as he left a large coin purse on the counter.

“I just wanted to be sure, Kili. We have to remember that she’s incredibly young and incredibly vulnerable. What if someone had gotten to her before we did?”

Kili’s grin fell from his face and he sighed, shoulders slumping as he followed after Fili.

“Alright, alright, you’ve got a point. I’m sorry.”

“Please, brother, I know you come from a good place. There’s no need to apologize.”

Kili seemed to light up again, and in no time, they were trekking the halls of Erebor. You mumbled.

“I wanna see Adad.”

“Don’t worry, little thief, you will see him soon.”

Fili replied. As they entered the throne room, the King could be spied on his throne, conversing with Balin and Dwalin, who stood by his sides. Thorin’s eyes lit up at the sight of Fili, Kili, and his daughter.

“My sister-sons, welcome back. I did not think you would arrive back from Dale so soon.”

Your eyes lit up at your father’s voice, and you began to squirm in Fili’s arms. He let you down, and you began to run to your father. However, your long coat tripped you, causing you to fall face first into the stone floor. Gasps echoed through the halls, and your father stood, intending to rush to you.

“(Y/n)!”

However, despite your fall and face-plant, you got up fast and began to practically fly towards your father once more, coat bouncing from your awkward trodding.

“Adad!”

Your father picked you up, and you nuzzled his face, giggling softly despite the red spot on your forehead.

“Uzfakuh, are you alright?”

You nodded, and Kili could be heard snorting from behind his hand, Fili struggling to keep a straight face. Thorin glared at Kili.

“Do you think your cousin injuring herself is funny?”

Kili straightened up a bit, coughing into his hand, and he shook his head.

“No, Uncle.”

Thorin’s lips twitched lightly from the want to laugh as well and he looked down at you as you pointed to your red forehead.

“Kiss!”

“Well, how may I refuse the princess?”

You father teased before gently kissing your forehead, and you giggled loudly before squirming in his arms. Thorin let you down, and you began to run back to Fili. Fili knelt before you, and you pointed to your forehead, giving him sad eyes.

“Kiss!”

Fili smiled and kissed your forehead, and you turned to your second cousin, Kili kissing your forehead as well. You squealed loudly, tugging on Kili’s coat.

“I want more honey bread!”

Fili shook his head before Kili could open his mouth.

“No, no, I think you’ve had quite enough.”

Thorin asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Did you go to the bakery in Dale?”

Fili and Kili shared a look before looking back at Thorin, and you blurted out.

“Fee and Kee went to the pub.”

Fili and Kili’s eyes bulged from their head, and Thorin glared at them both.

“You left your cousin?!”

Fili and Kili immediately began to speak while you ran back to Thorin, asking him for more kisses while he continued to glare at Fili and Kili.

“No, no, Uncle, it’s not what you think!”

“No, we would never do such a thing at all! You see, we were simply _looking_ at the pub and we were debating on whether or not to go, but (Y/n) must have gotten distracted because she ran off and found her way into the bakery!”

Dwalin snorted and said, his arms crossed against his chest as he stood tall and amused.

“She always seems to find herself in a kitchen one way or another.”

Balin nodded, an amused grin on his face.

“Aye, brother, you would be correct on that one.”

Thorin shook his head, giving Fili and Kili a disappointed look.

“We will be talking about this later.”

You began to cry, holding onto your fathers furs and tugging furiously.

“Please don’t be angry, adad! I was hungry…”

You sniffled and your father sighed, leaning down to pick you up and hold you close.

“(Y/n), you must stay by your cousins’ sides. What if something had happened to you? You are far too precious for carelessness to be afoot.”

“I’ll listen! I promise!”

You sobbed to him. Your father sighed before laying a kiss upon your forehead, whispering.

“I cannot lose you, (Y/n). You are all that I have left. Please, never break that promise.”

You nodded, and your father kissed your tears before wiping your face.

“Stop crying, my darling, there is no need to shed your tears. You are not in trouble.”

You sniffled, and your father gave Fili and Kili one last look before walking to your chambers to lie you down to bed. When you were changed into night clothes and tucked into bed, your father kissed your forehead.

“I love you, my child.”

“I love you too, adad.”

He smiled down at you, his blue eyes twinkling within the lights of the candle.

**-PRESENT DAY-**

Looking out over the realm, you sighed as you looked on over the land, your mind coming to a pleasant stop as the memory faded away from you. The land was lit up in the rays of twilight, making it beautiful and bright before you. The breeze was light and warm, gently brushing against you as you stood against the ramparts of the gates, and a large warm hand on your back made you look to see your father standing beside you.

“Uzfakuh, you were missing for dinner…is everything alright?”

You were surprised that you had missed dinner, not having expected to be so sucked into your memories. You hummed and looked away, replying.

“I am alright. I was just…reminiscing…remembering times of old.”

Your father gazed at you, wondering what it was that you were thinking of. Were you thinking of Vonnir? Your father turned to look at the realm before the two of you, and you asked him.

“Do you remember the night when Fili and Kili took me to Dale, and you found out that I ran off to the bakery?”

Your father sighed, shaking his head with a small smile.

“Yes, I do. I was not very pleased with Fili and Kili that night.”

You smiled lightly before glancing over at him, saying.

“Yes, I remember your distaste for the event that had transpired. “

Your father shook his head, replying.

“I still have no idea what caused you to take a liking to the kitchens, but you always were a mischievous little thing.”

You chuckled softly, looking down at the balcony’s edge. Thorin gazed on at you, trying to gauge what it was that was on your mind. Thorin sighed lightly, asking you.

“What is on your mind?”

You shook your head lightly.

“I’m just…reminiscing is all. I promise I’m alright.”

Ever since you had revealed your thoughts of suicide to your father, your father had begun to keep a very close eye on you despite signs that you were recovering from your grief. He was cautious, vigilant, and never allowed you too much time to yourself before he was there. Thorin was hovering, and he knew that you knew what it was that he was doing, but Thorin just couldn’t bring himself to stop. You had truly terrified him that night.

Thorin sighed before nodding, deciding to let it rest there. Instead, Thorin looked on at the realm, watching the lands as the sun shone on them. The fields below were still littered with weapons and dead bodies from the battle, separating the dead orcs and dwarves so the fallen dwarves could be sent off properly.

It still smelled of burnt ashes and death but with the two of you being up so high, the smell luckily couldn’t reach you both. You murmured softly.

“Is this what it looked like all those years ago? When Azog the Defiler sought to break the line of Durin?”

Your father sighed, replying softly.

“Aye…there were more bodies though…and winter was just beginning.”

The memories went through his mind, and your nimble fingers along the scar on his forehead made Thorin close his eyes. He turned his head towards you slightly, and you replied.

“No matter, he is long since defeated and Erebor is long since reclaimed. It is a victory that has been long-since due. Now look upon your kingdom…your people…this land and the light and the shadows…this was all for you.”

Thorin kissed your wrist gently, holding your hand to your lips as he murmured softly.

“And one day, it will be yours, as I have willed it to be, my child.”

You smiled and shook your head, poking his shoulder when he let your hand go.

“Not for a very long time, which is fine by me. I’d rather not have to deal with entitled idiots and their flamboyant pig-skin boots.”

Thorin laughed, shaking his head.

“Your mouth is going to get you into trouble one of these days, (Y/n).”

“Not my fault you never taught me how to shut it.”

You both snickered with each other, and Thorin kissed your temple, replying to you.

“Whether your words are ill or not, I will never keep you from speaking your piece.”

You smiled, and a knocking on the door to the balcony made the two of you turn. Dwalin came before the two of you, bowing his head lightly.

“Thorin, there is news on the attack…also, King Thranduil has requested your presence. He has come to speak.”

Thorin’s nose wrinkled at the mention of Thranduil, and you turned, frowning.

“King Thranduil? What business does he come with here?”

You asked, quirking your brow before your eyes rolled.

“Does he come to bargain for the necklace that which doesn’t belong to him again? Perhaps to give more impolite innuendos as he sneers on his high elk, or to perhaps continue to try to bargain for the gold that he does not deserve?”

You walked to your desk, snatching up some papers and Dwalin shook his head.

“Aye, but it is more for negotiation of political affairs, my princess.”

You turned and crossed your arms, frowning deeply.

“Negotiation for political affairs? The only thing he should negotiate for is his nonexistent honor. He might have helped us during the Battle of the Five Armies, but Erebor would have _never_ been lost on us had he not turned his back on us. Our forefather would have been alive had it not been for his selfishness.”

Your father shook his head.

“(Y/n), I don’t expect you to understand.”

“I understand quite enough, thank you.”

You scoffed and mumbled.

“As long as he comes nowhere near me, that pointy-eared feign can talk all he wants. I’ll have none of him within my presence lest he wishes for his tongue to get cut from his throat and fed to his kin.”

You walked out of your room, grumpy and sulking, and Dwalin couldn’t help but snicker.

“She’s very much like you in more ways than one. It’s almost scary.”

Thorin sighed, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

“Aye, it can be worrisome at times.”

Dwalin shook his head, turning to Thorin.

“I wouldn’t worry. You are a good father, Thorin. She is going to be a fine Queen when the time comes. Though she be young, she is wise.”

Thorin relaxed a little, saying to Dwalin as he rest his forehead against his.

“Your words are much appreciated, my friend. It is a blessing to know that she has that wisdom within her. I pray it never leaves her.”

Dwalin sighed and nodded a bit.

“Aye, Mahal is with her. (Y/n) will be alright.”

Thorin nodded before he pulled back and became grumpy, slipping on his crown.

“I suppose we shouldn’t keep that elf waiting.”

Just as you had, Thorin sulked out of the room, and Dwalin couldn’t help but to grin.

\---

You were walking through the halls with the documents you had collected from your desk, seething lightly. What business did Thranduil have to try to negotiate anything? Yes, you were young…and no, you really didn’t understand a lot about political affairs and such (seeing as you never bothered to learn just yet) as much as you claimed you did.

However, you knew that Thranduil was just trying to gain for himself…try to win back those jewels sitting locked away in a secret drawer within the wall of the dungeons. Why else would he be here? You shook your head.

“Damn elves.”

Sighing, you glanced down at the papers in your hand as you walked. They were a couple of documents that had been completed for Balin to send to Dain in the Iron Hills for Stilda. In the documents was a compensation for the loss of Vonnir, a promise to avenge his death with the death of any orcs that had lived and escaped from the wrath of Dain and Dwalin….and an apology for not having been more vigilant. You hadn’t been able to face Stilda when she had come for her son, not even during the funeral.

It had made you feel terrible that you couldn’t even face your own friend’s mother, but it was told that she had understood. Stilda had known how close you were to her son, and while she was deeply hurt, she wouldn’t blame you for his death. However, there was still something that you wanted to do for her, so you had decided that at least one hundred pounds of gold was to be given in Stilda’s name.

Your father had no idea that you were planning all of this, and you were determined to keep it as such. Arriving to your personal maiden quarters, you knocked on the door quietly. When the door opened to reveal Hora, her eyes widened and she bowed.

“My lady, it is a surprise to see you.”

You smiled lightly, nodding at her.

“Ah, yes, I was taking time for myself to think and such. Sometimes a little time in the soul can help a healing heart to mend itself faster.”

Hora smiled at you and asked you, gesturing you to come inside.

“Truly. What is it that you might need?”

You handed Hora the documents, asking her softly.

“I need you to seal and deliver these to Lady Stilda of the Iron Hills. Important matters are to be tended to. I had intended for Balin to send them…but these are matters that I trust more with you.”

Hora nodded, grabbing the papers and sealing them for you. She asked you.

“May I ask what is contained in them?”

You sighed and replied.

“I would love to tell you, but it is not to be spoken to anybody but Stilda and I. It is our grievance and our grievance alone.”

Hora nodded in understanding and gathered her coats and bags.

“I will leave at first light, my lady. Please do not worry yourself with this.”

You nodded and then sighed a bit. Hora paused and asked, tilting her head.

“What is it?”

“I will be leaving Erebor. I do not know how long I will be, but I wanted to tell you because I don’t wish to keep my most trusted friend in the dark. You are just as much as my kin as my father and cousins, and I do not wish to hurt you by worrying you.”

Hora was concerned, asking as she sat before you.

“My lady, what is it that troubles you enough to make you leave?”

You sighed, your shoulders falling, and you pursed your lips lightly before replying softly.

“It is not troubling…moreso that I have made a promise that I cannot break lest Mahal rain his wrath down upon me. However, my kin are not to know. My father would never let me roam Middle Earth alone, but this is a journey that I must embark on by myself…especially if I aim to completely depart from Vonnir.”

You sat down beside her, admitting tiredly.

“My heart has stopped aching at the mention of his name…at the thoughts and memories, but…but his soul is at unrest for Vonnir often haunts my dreams. Perhaps, it is I who at fault for allowing him to roam my dreams, but I must travel to Rivendell to seek the help of Elrond and Lady Galadriel to seek haven.”

Hora wrung her hands, her brow furrowed in concern, and she asked quietly.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea? The King will not be happy when he notices that you are missing…Mahal only knows what he will do once he catches you or once you come back..especially at the thought of you seeking haven with Elves, no matter how in debt he is to them.”

You shook your head, waving a hand.

“I understand the consequences that I face, Hora. I risk the very trust of my father, my very freedom to ever step foot outside of the kingdom…but it is something that I have to do…my father must understand that. My father cannot expect to keep an adventurous soul chained to carven stone.”

Hora shook her head a bit, humming a bit.

“Aye, but he has good reason, my lady. You are his only child, the only direct heir to the throne. If something happens to you…King Thorin would have nothing left. Yes, he has Fili and Kili, but you are his _child_. You are putting much on the line…and this journey…it’s going to be a very long journey, my lady…one that you shouldn’t do alone, and the King will be especially furious when he finds that you did this alone.”

You swallowed thickly, nodding a bit.

“Aye, I understand that, Hora…I have that about all the advantages and disadvantages of doing this…and there is more good to be had.”

Hora pursed her lips and sighed deeply.

“I cannot sway you from your decision, but I can offer to help you in any way that I can. If you are to be leaving at first light as well, then we must get packing, and fast…we can’t have anybody catching wind of what you are planning.”

You smiled at Hora.

“Thank you, Hora. You are a valued friend.”

Hora crossed her arms, shaking her head.

“Your words are touching, but you must understand that I do this strictly as a lady-in-waiting helping her princess. I helped raise you, my lady. I am just as apprehensive as your father would be.”

You stood, placing your hands on her shoulders, pressing to her.

“No harm will come to me on my journey. If it does, I will wear those scars proudly. The Line of Durin is not so easily broken, my friend. I will be fine.”

Hora sighed and pressed her forehead to yours, murmuring softly.

“I pray Mahal keeps it that way, my lady. I will be lost without you.”

You smiled before pulling back.

“We must get a little sleep for our separate journeys. We cannot risk being exhausted on our paths.”

Hora nodded and you departed. When you walked away, Hora felt a weight come upon her shoulders and she rubbed her bearded face, biting her lip.

“Just what are you planning, little thief?”

\---

When you walked out, you made sure to look around and scurried off to your father’s chambers. A guard was outside the door, as usual, and you asked him quietly.

“Is the King in his chambers?”

“No, my lady. King Thorin is with King Thranduil at this time.”

You nodded before winking at him, placing a finger to your lips.

“Don’t tell him I dropped by. I have a surprise for him.”

The knight smiled and bowed, and you walked into your father’s room. You weren’t sure how much time you had, so you were quick to dash to his desk where papers laid strewn about. There were a couple of random documents discussing treaties and negotiation plans with King Bard, renewals and such, and you were careful not to disturb them too much.

You growled when you didn’t find what you were looking for before digging through the desk drawers. There were trinkets strewn about, corked and unused inkwells, spare quills, materials for wax seals and such, but not much else. You slammed the drawer shut, and you huffed deeply before your eyes caught a couple folded sheets of paper sitting between two books on the desk, just out of sight.

Grabbing the papers, you opened it up to reveal a report of the battle, you shoved the papers into your undershirt, hiding it effectively. Spying a bucket, you got an idea. Grabbing some yarn, you grabbed the bucket from your father’s bath chamber, grinning as you filled it with water.

If there was one way that would keep your father from noticing the missing documents, it was with a good ole prank. Carefully, you tied the string to the bucket before hanging it above the door. Tying the string on the door, you smiled at the contraption before carefully slipping out.

“Once he yells, blame Fili and Kili for me, will you?”

The knight laughed lightly.

“Will do, princess.”

You walked away as quickly as you could, trying not to seem suspicious. When you turned the corner, you ran to your chambers and immediately began packing a couple sacks full of clothes and foods. Grabbing your sword, you strapped it to your hip before strapping your bow and arrow across the bag. Putting on a black and hooded cloak, you bit your lip.

_‘Sorry, Hora…but it seems that I will not be able to greet you at first light.’_

Exiting your chambers, you heard a loud yell from your father, screaming and cursing the names of your nephews and chuckled a bit as you ran from the halls. Quickly, you made your way to the gates, and you grabbed a coin purse from your hip and handed it to the guard.

“I’m trusting you to take this coin to silence your lips. My father is not to know that I am leaving, and if he is told, your head will be sent on a golden platter to your family. Do you understand?”

The guard gulped and nodded, taking the coin purse.

“Yes, my lady. I will not utter a single word.”

You smiled before pressing your forehead against his own, the guard relaxing.

“You are a loyal guard to the King’s court…forgive my threatening words.”

The guard nodded before asking softly.

“Princess, whatever it is that you are intending to do…please do it carefully? We lost our princess once, and we cannot afford to lose her again.”

You shook your head, pulling back from the dwarf.

“Do not worry yourself, my friend. My journey is to a safe place.”

The guard nodded before asking you, his eyes seeming sad to watch you go.

“Would you have me prepare a pony for you?”

“No, the journey will need to be done with the horses of Men. I intend to travel as fast as possible so that my absence is not so worrisome to my father…and to avoid his anger being brought down upon the kingdom.”

The guard chuckled wistfully.

“Your father will bring his wrath down upon us all no matter the length of your absence, my lady. You are the king’s true jewel.”

You sighed, looking down upon the floor.

“I know, and for that, I am sorry. I must leave you now. Switch shifts with the guard at my chambers. When my father comes, you tell him that I have requested to be left alone for the night.”

The guard nodded and as you walked out, the guard called to you.

“My lady?”

You turned and the guard let off his helmet, revealing a youthful face that reminded you so much of Vonnir and Stilda. His hair was brown and intricately braided, reaching his waist with piercing blue eyes seeming white from the light of the moon. He had a short beard, the hair French-braided from the area above his lip to form one large braid upon his chin where a large silver bead was clasped. He sighed a bit.

“I know the death of my brother still haunts you…but you must know that he died in the arms of the one he loved most, and that is more comforting to me and my mother than the thought of him having died alone.”

You froze, staring at the dwarf, and you whispered softly.

“Yonnir, the eldest son of Stilda…they rumored you to be dead.”

Yonnir sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“No, my lady. I had merely escaped to a life in Ered Luin…one that I had dreamed of for a long time. I made my bidding there as a blacksmith…living a simple life. However, when word of the great Ambush of the Gates came to Ered Luin, all I could think about was my little brother and my mother. I knew my mother was safe in the Iron Hills with King Dain, but I was unsure of my brother.”

Yonnir took your shoulder and he explained.

“I knew my brother fancied a royal dwarrrowdam…it was why he had chosen to stay in Erebor…and it was why I came back under the guise of a common folk enlisting in the King’s guard. I knew he was a strong and fierce dwarf who would have fought proudly in the battle…and proud he was. I came back the day after the battle, and when the guards spoke of the princess mourning over a _khazad_ …I knew it was him. “

Yonnir smiled sadly, and he said to you softly.

“He wrote about you a lot…spoke of you in the highest regards. He once described you as being as beautiful as the golden light of Durin’s day with eyes as blue as the sapphire gem within the ring of the King who fathered her. I honestly thought he was exaggerating, but I see why he fancied you so.”

Yonnir placed his other hand on your shoulder, holding tightly.

“Whatever it is that you are about to do, please know that you have the choice to stay and abandon the thought. The kindness that you showed my brother…the love you gave to him is more than I or my mother could have ever asked for…you are not at fault for my little brother’s death…surely you know that?”

You sniffled, shaking your head and placing your hands upon his own, taking his hands from your shoulders and placing them back by his side.

“Yonnir, I understand the place that you come from…but this isn’t a journey that I am taking out of blind nobleness and righteous valor.”

You turned and tugged your black cloak tighter to your body.

“This is a journey that I must take to finally release Vonnir from the chains that bind him unto me. His soul is at unrest…and I must know why. He has plagued my dreams, begging me to release him, and no matter how hard I try, he is still bound to me….”

Your voice trailed off before an idea popped into your head.

“…but perhaps, it isn’t me he is bound to…but something else…or someone.”

You spun to Yonnir.

“Take heed of my words, Yonnir, eldest son of Stilda of the Iron Hills. Should you speak a word of my departure to my father…friend or foe, I will cut your tongue from your throat and feed it to your kin personally. Your kind words are touching, but I will not allow them to sway me from my path.”

You spun around and began to walk to Dale, flicking up your hood, and Yonnir stood there at the gates, looking upon you with apprehension. Placing his helmet back on, he muttered to himself as he walked to your chambers.

“I hope you know what it is that you are doing.”

As you walked to Dale, you smiled at the people who were bustling about in the late hours. Honestly, you swore that the city never slept at all. For a second, you paused at the familiar bakery, candles burning inside, and you walked in. The familiar baker was sitting at his table, writing, and he called in an annoyed tone.

“We are closed.”

“Even for the Princess of Erebor?”

The baker shot up, bowing.

“My apologies, princess, I assumed you were a drunken commoner.”

You smiled softly before holding a hand up.

“Nonsense, there is nothing to apologize for. I understand that it is late. However, I was wondering if you could push past the lateness and allow me a few more sweets before the night is to truly end?”

The baker nodded before asking you, gathering a small sack and handing it to you so you could pick out the sweets you wanted.

“Please forgive my curiosity, but where is it that you are going as such late hours? Could the journey not wait until the safety of morning?”

You gathered many sweets and breads, tying up the bag and hanging it by your side before grabbing a few coins from your other coin purse.

“I am going to the Iron Hills on urgent business.”

The baker nodded before taking the coins from your hand and placing them in his pocket. Grabbing a small loaf of honey bread, he wrapped it before smiling at you.

“Please, take this for your journey. It is most popular among the royals anyhow.”

You scoffed, taking the loaf with a gentle hand.

“Please, you do not give yourself credit…your honey bread could outmatch even the greatest of bakers.”

The baker blushed heavily and he wrung his hands.

“Oh, princess, you’ve always been too kind.”

You smiled before nodding to him.

“I only say what it is that I mean, unless it is in jest, of course.”

Walking out, you packed the sweets into your bags before making your way to the stables. Heading inside, you pulled a few more coins from your coin purse.

“Have you a spare horse for a royal of Erebor?”

The rancher looked on at you, blinking in surprise.

“My lady, what an honor. I do believe I have a spare horse…but wouldn’t you rather a pony? I imagine it would be much easier for you to get up on.”

You laughed, flicking down your hood.

“Please, you underestimate me. A horse would be best for this journey. I intend to get to my destination as fast as I can. A pony is more suitable for those who do not mind a long journey despite urgency…but I am not one of them.”

The rancher nodded before walking out to the stables where many horses were either sleeping or eating.

“The fastest horse that I have is a black mare. She is…a bit rowdy, but she will get the job done.”

In the last stable, there was a black mare with a mane most beautiful. The horse was big, however, and you wondered if it truly would be an easy task to mount the horse. The rancher began to saddle the horse and get her ready, and you wondered if your father had already noticed the missing document that seemed to weigh so much within your tunic.

When the horse was finished, you packed some of your things into the saddle bags before climbing onto her. You rubbed her mane as she became agitated, and the rancher nodded.

“I hope she is up to par with you, my lady.”

“She is perfect, thank you. Make sure to buy yourself something nice with those coins.”

The rancher nodded, and immediately, you set off. Wasting no time, you made the horse run at full speed, her hooves clopping against the cobblestone. As you rode, you couldn’t help but to watch as Erebor and Dale disappeared into the darkness of the night. Deep down, you prayed that your father wouldn’t try to follow you.

\---

_“Where is she?!”_

The king’s voice echoed through the mountain, shaking stone and shaking dwarves as he bellowed loudly. The guards, company, and innocent passerby’s all jolted from the rage that echoed through the mountain. Mora, who was absolutely petrified, shook in her dress as Thorin stared her down, eyes clouded with the fear and rage.

“I…I’m sorry, my king. I don’t know where she’s gone! I woke this morning to empty chambers! Not even Hora was here.”

Thorin growled deeply before spinning around, looking at the guard who had been standing watch at the gate.

“You! You were supposed to be standing guard at the gates!”

The guard knelt, explaining.

“My lord, I did not see any dwarrow or dwarrowdam pass through the gates after shift rotation. The only one who passed was Hora. She was told by the princess to head to the Iron Hills to deliver a letter to Stilda…it was all that she would reveal.”

Thorin roared, slamming his hands down onto the armrests of the throne.

“Treason! You will go to the Iron Hills and retrieve her, do you understand?!”

Dwalin and Balin, who stood by Thorin’s side, gazed on at him with worry. Balin gently asked.

“My lord, may I speak freely?”

Thorin gave Balin a look, and Balin sighed.

“The princess still deals with the burden of Vonnir…if she has sent word to Stilda, it is most likely a matter of heart. Hora has been a loyal member of the Royal court for many years. She is only doing what the Princess has told her because Hora knows she is bound to oblige by law.”

Thorin’s shoulders sank a bit, and he rubbed his face in exasperation. Balin’s words held true, but it did nothing to stave off the anger and fear in his heart. By law, Hora had to do what was told of her. If his child had told her to deliver something to Stilda, then Hora was bound to do it. There was nothing else that Hora could do lest she face the dire consequences disobedience had.

Yonnir, who was standing with the group of guards, bit the inside of his cheek. God, he wanted to tell Thorin so badly, but seeing the anger of Thorin Oakenshield…Mahal only knows what your wrath would be like. Thorin spun and growled.

“I want every guard of Erebor to search every nook and cranny of this mountain. I want guards in Dale and Esgaroth as well! Send word to King Bard and King Dain! I want every inch of this land searching for my daughter!”

The guard nodded and Thorin turned to Dwalin.

“I want you to send word to King Dain of my daughter’s disappearance and have him search his kingdom. Stilda is to be brought to Erebor to tell us what she knows!”

Dwalin nodded before commanding the guards.

“Ya heard the king! Rally the forces!”

The guards left, and Balin sighed deeply. Thorin gathered his coats, and he said to the advisor.

“I want the company with me with the exception of Dwalin. Send word to Bilbo…I don’t know if she would have gone to him or not, but we must take every precaution.”

Balin nodded before asking.

“Where do you think she could have gone to or why?”

Thorin nodded and gave a dark look to Balin.

“The report of the Ambush of the Gates was missing from my desk this morning…and if she’s sent word to Stilda, then Stilda will know why she has gone…Mahal only knows what my daughter is thinking…such foolishness! I know a raised a better dwarrowdam than this!”

Thorin clenched his furs tightly.

“Thorin, (Y/n)’s decision was not made because you were a poor father to her. In fact, your parenting is the reason why she has come so far since her youth. You’ve shown her much love and care, even when you were angry with her.”

Thorin looked on at Balin with glassy eyes, asking with a choked whisper.

“But if I have been such a good father to her, then why did she not come to me?”

Balin sighed and sat down upon the steps to the throne, patting the space beside him. Thorin sat down reluctantly, staring down at his boots. Balin said to the king.

“Parenthood is a blessing for any dwarf in this realm, Thorin. In fact, it’s hard to come by when there are such few dwarrowdams in this kingdom. Despite losing your One during the endeavor of childbirth, you still loved your child and were a father to her. Despite the grievances weighing upon your heart, you still raised your daughter the best that you could…and what a fine lass she is growing up to be.”

Thorin looked at Balin, his eyes ringing in red as they filled with tears.

“(Y/n) is a kind princess. She is generous, strong-willed, and extremely intelligent. (Y/n) has shed blood and will shed blood for this kingdom so long as it calls for her sword to protect it because she loves her kingdom and her people unconditionally…the kingdom and people that _you_ , Thorin Oakenshield, have promised her.”

Balin smiled softly.

“Just as you had done for us…creating a life for us in Ered Luin before fighting for our one true home. Everything (Y/n) has done in her life for this kingdom and her people has ultimately been for you and because of the way that you have raised her. You are not a bad father to your child, Thorin…quite the opposite. I can’t think of a khazad who could have raised their daughter better.”

Silent tears fell from Thorin’s eyes, and Balin smiled, patting Thorin’s back.

“She will find her way back home, Thorin. You must have faith that what (Y/n) is doing is for what she feels is right…and I must say that (Y/n)’s intuition is just as great as her father’s…if not greater.”

Thorin shook his head and he whispered, shaking his head.

“I do not wish for her to do this alone. I know my daughter is a skilled warrior, but I fear for her. I can’t bear the thought of her being in danger, Balin. She is all that I have left. Without her, I cannot be the same.”

Balin nodded.

“I have never been a father, Thorin…but I have been a son. I always did what I thought was right for the sake of my family…and if there has ever been something I did that I knew would anger my father, I always did it with the best thing in mind.”

Thorin swallowed thickly, clenching his fists.

“But she should have come to me…does she not deem me worthy of my thoughts or company?”

“No…she does not tell you certain things because she knows you would stop her at the first thought of her being in danger. “

Thorin’s shoulders sagged in defeat, and he looked at Balin.

“Then this time, I will not stop her…but I will be by her side. I love her too much to let her do this journey alone.”

Balin gave Thorin a look.

“Do you really think you would have the self-control to do so the moment you see her?”

Thorin stood up abruptly, pacing a bit as his anger began to come back to him.

“Yes, because I am her father…but that is not the point! The point is that she should have never schemed this journey behind my back! _She should have told me!_ Has nothing that we have gone through show her that she can come to me…that if I cannot convince her to stop her madness that I will reign in it with her?”

Thorin’s anger could not stop the tears from falling down his face, and he became wild with his rage.

“Law or not, her lady-in-waiting should tell her king when his daughter is being put through potential danger! It does not matter if she is bound by law to do what the princess says because the law she is ultimately bound by is mine! It is treason!”

Thorin was breathing heavily, and Balin said softly, standing before Thorin.

“Thorin, look upon me.”

Thorin turned to Balin, and Balin placed his hands upon Thorin’s shoulders.

“Hora has been a loyal member of this court since her dwarfling days. Hora would not have kept quiet about this had she not an inch of trust in your daughter to come home safely. “

Thorin shook his head, rubbing at his beard in anxiety. He was still hurt by his daughter’s negligence to tell him what it was that she had planned…but in a way, he understood. Honestly, Thorin should have seen such a stunt coming. You had always been a righteous little thing…always trying to make amends that seemed fit to you, no matter how else someone felt about them. If you didn’t feel something came to your standards, then you did everything in your power to make it do so. But what was it that made you feel that amends had not been made just yet? Thorin’s heart dropped into his stomach.

“Oh no.”

“What is it?”

Thorin spun around and said to Balin.

“(Y/n) is going to seek out the rest of the orc packs to atone for Vonnir’s death.”

Balin shook his head, walking after Thorin as Thorin rushed to gather a good couple of troops to follow him.

“Thorin, that is extremely foolish to do alone. (Y/n) would never take on the remaining orc packs alone, especially when we don’t even know how many there are left.”

Thorin replied grouchily.

“Though my daughter is intelligent, she has her foolish moments…and I fear this is her most foolish one, no matter where it is that her heart lies. This path that she takes…it is not for me, the kingdom, nor its people.”

Thorin ordered Balin, turning to him.

“Gather the company and one of the troops. We are accompanying Dwalin to the Iron Hills. I will not wait another moment to find what it is that Stilda knows.”

\---

When morning came, you scuffed out the fire and scattered the remains of the ashes, covering up as much of your tracks as possible. If you were lucky, your father wouldn’t find your trail for a long while. Most likely, he would send troops to look for you all over…and if the guard saw Hora leaving, then you would have to waste no time at all.

Ember, as you had named your horse, stood tall and proud as she nibbled at the grass at the tree you had tied her too. You sighed as you patted her neck, her brown eye staring down at you.

“Bakn galikh, Ember.”

She whinnied, and you smiled, rubbing her cheeks gently.

“I hope you are ready for another day of riding. I can smell the rain coming…we must be fast if we wish to find shelter to stay out of it.”

Untying her from the tree, you climbed upon her with slight difficulty before flicking your hood back up over your head. From where you were, you could see the Lonely Mountain, Dale, and Esgaroth. However, you could also see the dwarves of Erebor searching all around for you, and you cursed under your breath before riding off again.

\---

“My lady, Princess (Y/n), the daughter of Thorin, the King under the Mountain, has sent me for you.”

Hora stood before a beautiful dwarrow, her brown hair streaked with grey. A dark brown beard surrounded her face, braided beautifully into two braided buns that sat upon her head. Fine jewelry and beads were woven into her hair and beard, shining in the light from the sun, and her brilliant blue eyes gazed upon Hora with interest.

“(Y/n) has sent you to me?”

Hora nodded and took out the letter she had safely tucked into her tunic. She handed it to the lady with a bow.

“Yes, my lady Stilda. (Y/n) had a letter to you and she did not trust anybody else to send it to you.”

Stilda’s eyes looked down upon the letter, and she took it with a gentleness, the once intimidating image she had put on melting away into one of a tired mother. Opening the letter carefully, Stilda read with care. When Stilda suddenly gasped, covering her mouth, Hora jolted before asking softly.

“It is not my place to ask, but you seem shocked by what the Princess has wrote to you…what is it?”

Stilda’s eyes filled with tears, and she took a moment.

“You must tell her that I cannot accept this!”

“Accept what?”

Stilda stood, rubbing her hands on her dress in anxiety as she paced.

“The…The compensation for my son! 100 pounds of gold is much too extravagant!”

Hora’s eyes bulged from her head, and she exclaimed.

“100 pounds?! My lady Stilda, I had no idea what was written in that letter…but it certainly wasn’t that!”

Stilda looked at Hora with a heavy heart.

“You mean that (Y/n) did not tell you what was written?”

“No, she told me it was a grievance that only you and her should bear. My lady…if I may speak boldly…(Y/n) still grieves the loss of Vonnir. She told me that he haunts her dreams at night…that something is tethering her to him, and she does not know entirely what it is. She is seeking the company of Lord Elrond from Rivendell to get guidance…but I’m afraid she is walking into something she did not put full thought into.”

Stilda sat upon her seat, eyes filled with tears. Hora’s eyes turned to steel.

“My lady, leave nothing out. What did she write to you? I am committing treason by sending this letter under the nose of the king, and I will not allow myself to be charged with treason when I don’t even know what I am committing treason for!”

Stilda closed her eyes tightly before she sighed and took a deep breath.

“The princess has written to me this: Lady Stilda of the Iron Hills, Countess of the Royal Court of King Dain Ironfoot, I write to you first and foremost as apology. I know it must have upset you when I did not come to you after the death of Vonnir, but my heart was grieving so that it made it impossible to face you. I admit that I was afraid. There is never going to be enough sorry’s that will compensate for being so careless during the Ambush of the Gates.”

Stilda took a deep breath again, trying to steady herself, and Hora sat down upon the steps beside Stilda’s chair, feeling dread fill her heart.

“’So, in order to compensate for the death of your son, I have vowed upon Mahal’s anvil and Durin’s beard that I will find the remaining orcs that have run from the battle and bring you their heads. They will not get away with it, whether they were the ones to deliver the blow or not. Along with this, I will be sending you approximately 100 pounds of gold personally mined by me, the Princess of Erebor.’”

Hora gasped loudly, and Stilda held in a sob, clutching the letter tightly before she cleared her throat, sniffling deeply.

“’I know there is no amount of gold nor spilled orc blood that will bring Vonnir home, but I vow to never rest until his soul does. I cannot tell you where I will be seeking refuge before I embark on this path for my father will be behind me in no time, but I advise you to burn this letter before he arrives upon your door. My father will know to come to you, and though I love him so much, I can’t let him bear this burden for it is a burden only you and I should bear.

I am sorry, my lady Stilda. I have come to terms with Vonnir’s death…but I still wish that I could have kept a much more vigilant eye upon him than I did. I loved him very much…and I had many visions of him ruling by my side when the time came for me to inherit my father’s throne, but those are simple dreams that will not come to pass and for that, I apologize. Vonnir would have made a great king for us all. His soul has been haunting me, and I must lay it to rest once and for all. With the blessings of Mahal, I will be successful, this I promise to you. Yours truly, the Princess under the Mountain.’”

Stilda lost it at that point, sobbing loudly, and Hora covered her mouth. Hora had known that you had loved Vonnir very much, but she didn’t know just how deep that love went. Stilda sobbed louder and she covered her face as the tears ran down her face. Hora’s own eyes became misty, and she whispered.

“I didn’t know she loved him as a One would love their destined.”

Stilda took a moment, swallowing her tears, and the old countess whispered.

“It was obvious that they loved each other, but they were not each other’s destined one. I found it to be cruel…but I cannot argue with Mahal’s ways… I find comfort that (Y/n) and Vonnir loved each other deeply despite knowing that they were not truly meant for each other. I hope that the Princess might find a much deeper love than the love that blossomed between her and Vonnir soon…if only to deter her from this journey.”

Hora shook her head and pleaded with Stilda.

“Please, Countess, you must find it in your heart to tell King Thorin of her plans. It isn’t right! There must be a way that (Y/n) can make amends without endangering her life. We don’t know how many orcs from the ambush are left…and there is rumor that they are from Gundabad!”

Stilda shot her gaze to Hora in fear.

“Gundabad…? If (Y/n) is to kill the orcs left, then there is possibility that the orcs still residing in Gundabad will hunt her down…it’s suicide!”

Hora nodded before beginning to cry, holding onto Stilda’s lap tightly.

“I am a coward…I have nursed and governed (Y/n) for so long that I couldn’t find it in myself to disobey her order and trust. I wanted to run to the King the moment (Y/n) revealed her plans…but I couldn’t disobey my future queen…I couldn’t tell Princess (Y/n) that I refused because deep down in my heart, I knew Mahal would be with her on this journey. Oh, my lady! The King will execute me for this!”

Stilda shook her head, shaking Hora’s shoulders.

“No, King Thorin would never do such a thing. Though King Thorin’s wrath is mightier than the fire of a dragon, he would never hurt one of his own kind unless they have raised their weapons first. You have done no such thing…you were only obeying the order of which you vowed to obey when you came into this kingdom.”

Stilda bit her lip and shook her head, letting down her hair and untying her bodice and relaxing deeply into her seat. Hora sniffled and looked up at the Countess. The countess gazed out the window, watching King Thorin and his troops approach the borders of the Iron Hills, and she gently ran her fingers through Hora’s hair to comfort the maiden.

“Dry your face, Hora…the King has come.”

Hora nodded and began to wipe her face, and Stilda revealed quietly.

“I have not lost entirely.”

“Pardon?”

Stilda looked down at Hora and she whispered softly.

“I lost my One in war…my youngest in war…but I still have one son left. Yonnir, the eldest son of Honnir of Belegost, sought refuge in Ered Luin after the birth of the Princess. He had run away with a dwarrowdam to seek a much more peaceful life than the life in Erebor. He had grown accustomed to working for his keep, and I could not tell him to stay. Yonnir did not want a life of royalty for it was a life of responsibility he did not want, so he gave the blessing of a life of royalty to my youngest son, his brother, Vonnir.”

Stilda became wistful at the thought of her eldest son.

“He left with his intended, and it was the last I saw him. He writes to me sometimes…telling me of his many sons and daughters. Did you know he fathers seven children…and last I heard, he had another on the way?”

Hora’s eyes widened, and she whispered softly.

“Mahal has certainly blessed his wife with a healthy womb. Eight children is a huge blessing…he is destined for great things.”

Stilda smiled, nodding.

“Six sons and two daughters. He has sent me many drawings of them.”

Stilda’s smile then left her face.

“It is why I cannot accept this from the Princess. I have not lost all of my family…but I never spoke of Yonnir. Instead, I allowed rumors of his death to surface in order to keep his life in Ered Luin peaceful. Mahal knows the royal court would pester him to fill in his role in the royal court after my passing.”

Knocks sounded on the door, the voice of King Dain’s royal guards coming through.

“Countess Stilda of the Royal Court of King Dain II of the Iron Hills! You are summoned to stand before your Kings!”

Stilda said to Hora, who seemed to become fearful.

“Have no fear, Lady Hora. Though your king is angry, he is just. Stand tall, keep your chin high, and be confident. There is no room for weakness in a crowd of males.”

Hora smiled a bit before she nodded. Stilda opened the door, and the royal guards stepped back to reveal King Dain II. Beside him stood King Thorin II Oakenshield, a fire blazing in his eyes. Dwalin stood by his side, Thorin’s company behind, and he walked forward slowly.

“Countess Stilda.”

He greeted deeply, and Stilda nodded as she curtsied.

“My king, it is an honor to stand before you.”

Thorin turned and looked at Hora, who immediately went on her knees before him.

“My king…”

“Stand.”

Thorin ordered, his voice deep and angry. Hora immediately stood, and Thorin turned to Stilda.

“It has been brought to my attention that my daughter sent word to you before her sudden departure.”

Stilda nodded slowly, and Thorin looked at Hora.

“You. Stand before me and tell me why you neglected to tell me of my daughter’s leave.”

Hora moved to stand in front of Thorin, and she said to him, trembling in her spot.

“My lord, I was ordered by Princess (Y/n), the future Queen under the Mountain, to not mention any word of her leave to you.”

Thorin gave Hora a look.

“But you knew that her journey was going to prove perilous, did you not?”

Hora nodded slowly, and Thorin clenched his jaw. Stilda asked.

“My lord, if I may speak freely?”

Thorin huffed and looked at her, nodding.

“Go on.”

“Hora did not know what was written in the letter she was sending to me. The letter was sealed with a wax seal that I had only just broken this morning. The Princess refused to mention anything for she said that this letter was a grievance only her and I should know of.”

Thorin looked at Hora and asked, his visage softening the slightest.

“Is this true?”

Hora nodded, replying through her trembling.

“Yes, my king. The Princess had mentioned she was going on a journey, but she would not reveal to where…but I know the princess and I know she wouldn’t embark on a journey that would only mean her death.”

Thorin’s gaze hardened again, and he stood before Hora.

“But you knew she was leaving all the same and neglected to tell me.”

“She ordered me not to-“

Thorin roared, losing his temper.

“It does not matter! Am I not the king?! My order comes above all else, does it not?”

Hora jolted before she nodded.

“Yes, my lord.”

Thorin swallowed thickly before turning to Stilda.

“What did my daughter write to you? Leave nothing out, or I will lay claim upon you and see to it that you are given a punishment most foul!”

Stilda bravely said to Thorin, her head held high.

“I do not fear you, King Thorin Oakenshield. I have faced perils more fearsome than the rage of a King.”

Thorin’s eyes became blazing beacons of rage, and Hora came to Stilda, clutching her thigh tightly.

“Please, my lady! Please tell the King what the Princess wrote to you! He deserves to know what idiocy his daughter is playing in. Do not risk yourself for an oath the Princess made in the hazes of grief!”

Stilda looked down upon Hora and sighed, gently petting her head before looking upon the King. For a moment, they stared at each other, and Stilda could see the fear in Thorin’s eyes. Stilda’s face softened, and Thorin’s shoulders relaxed in the slightest.

“I don’t want to betray the Princess…but as a mother, I understand your fear and anger, King Thorin. It is reflected in your eyes.”

Stilda smiled softly, whispering.

“Mahal, your daughter looks so much like you, it is like I am looking upon her.”

Thorin calmed slightly, and he pleaded softly.

“Please, tell me where it is that my daughter has gone. I cannot waste another second knowing that my daughter is on a path too dangerous for just herself to go on”

Stilda looked at King Dain, who had been silently observing. Dain gave Stilda a look.

“Go on, lass. The Princess is just as much as family as my cousin, and I worry for her as well.”

Stilda nodded before taking the letter from her chair and she handed it to Thorin. Thorin immediately began to read it after placing clear glass over the words. At every word, he seemed to grow more agitated and restless, and he finally let his hands fall to his sides. Clenching his heads, Thorin shattered the glass, and blood began to run between his clenched fingers.

“My king!”

Hora gasped loudly before coming to him.

“Leave it! My hand is the least of my worries!”

Hora recoiled, and she bit her lip, tears filling her eyes. How angry he was, the King under the Mountain, and Hora was afraid for the first time in her life. Stilda said quietly, folding her hands in front of her.

“King Thorin, as a mother, I understand the fear and anger you have towards your daughter. I did not expect her to do such a thing…but the love she had for Vonnir was much deeper than any of us could have expected. My son loved your daughter with everything he had.”

Tears filled her eyes again, and she choked on her words. Thorin looked at her, his brow furrowing in sorrow.

“My son would tell me ‘I’m gonna marry that dwarrowdam, amad! I’m gonna do it whether the king likes it or not!’ and mahal, he would chant it for hours.”

Stilda laughed brokenly and Thorin looked down at his feet.

“My son would have fought the Valar themselves for your daughter, King Thorin…and I know your daughter would have done the same. I am not ignorant to the months of darkness your daughter went through after the death of my son.”

Thorin shook his head a bit, whispering.

“She had spoken thoughts of suicide to me…told me that she had intended to jump from the Gates because she couldn’t take the thought of being so far from Vonnir. The only thing that stopped her was the promise I had made to her…the promise of my kingdom and people.”

Thorin fell into a seat, covering his face as he tried not to cry. Stilda came to him, sitting on the ground before him and clutched at his knees.

“Thorin…grief never truly leaves the heart, even if it has had time to heal itself. You and I both know that as dwarves who have lost their Ones. Our hearts only continued to beat because of the lives that we had created, but you can feel the hole in it, can’t you?”

Thorin nodded, whispering.

“It has never left. I still dream of Edria…even in the late hours of the night.”

“Just as (Y/n) dreams of Vonnir. Edria left peacefully with her beautiful babe in her arms and her husband by her side…my son did not have that same fate. Instead, the midst of battle took him, and though he died in the arms of the one he loved most, it was not a fate he truly wanted, and it keeps him tethered to her.”

Thorin revealed his tear-stained face to Stilda, and she softened incredibly.

“I know what it is like to lose a child, Thorin Oakenshield, and that is why I have risked the trust of your daughter to reveal her intentions to you. Do not stand before her as her king when you get to her, but as a father, Thorin. There is a line between duty and parenting, and it is a line often blurred when in the company of royalty.”

Thorin nodded numbly, swallowing thickly, and Hora came beside Stilda, crying to the king.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come to you, my King! I am too afraid to break the trust of the one I governed and face her wrath…and in turn, it has hurt you. Please forgive me!”

Thorin shook his head and cupped Hora’s face gently.

“Please, do not apologize to me…though I am hurt, I understand why it was done. You have much love for my daughter as I do, and I know you don’t wish to risk the trust and friendship that has grown over the years. I hate to see it teeter on such fragile grounds even now.”

Thorin wiped her tears, and laid his forehead against hers.

“I am sorry to have yelled at you the way I did, Hora. Your cousin would have my hide if she were here to find out.”

Hora laughed through her tears, saying to Thorin.

“No, please don’t apologize. Your anger is justified. I am just as afraid for (Y/n) as you are. Please, my king, bring her home before she rallies the forces of Gundabad. If the rumors are true, then Gundabad will rally their forces against her, and she will be hunted.”

Thorin seemed to shake himself from his fear, eyes hardening a bit, and he nodded before standing and turning to Dwalin and Dain.

“Dwalin, I want you to start ordering troops to begin searching for her. Keep watch on the borders.”

Dwalin nodded and Thorin swallowed thickly before saying.

“Send word to King Thranduil as well. Tauriel will be useful to us in this endeavor.”

King Dain guffawed and he asked.

“Thorin, I understand that this is our kin, your daughter…but are ya really sure ya wanna enlist the help of that elf-scum?”

Thorin nodded.

“King Thranduil’s son has disappeared as well. If anything, King Thranduil will be more inclined to help us under the sentimentality of the situation.”

Dwalin snickered.

“I never took ya to be a manipulator, Thorin.”

“Not manipulating…taking advantage of the situation.”

King Dain wrung his hands before offering.

“I can let my troops monitor the borders. If (Y/n) is to rally the forces of Gundabad, you will need all of the army you can have…but Thranduil will not allow your forces to walk freely through his lands.”

“That is why I am going to keep them here and go after my daughter alone with just my company. Tonight, our journey is not to reclaim Erebor…but to reclaim the daughter lost from it. “

Hora asked softly as Stilda gently rubbed her back, watching with quiet eyes.

“My king, who will watch over Erebor in your absence? We don’t know how long you will be gone…and forgive me for being bold, but King Dain can’t possibly handle both the Iron Hills and Erebor. There is too much to be done with either kingdom!”

King Dain shot the maid a look, and Hora returned the gaze before looking back at Thorin. Thorin sighed, rubbing his forehead before he looked back at Balin. Balin straightened up, and Thorin said softly.

“Who could I trust more than the dwarf that stood by my father and grandfather?”

Balin’s eyes became misty and he said to Thorin.

“It would be an honor, my King. I would be of no use to you on this quest for old age is catching up to me, I’m afraid.”

“But not old enough.”

Thorin and Balin smiled, and Hora let out a breath of relief. Thorin turned to Hora and said.

“But you must understand, Hora, that I cannot let this go so lightly. You risked treason for a senseless act of valor. Have you forgotten the vow you took when you first came to the royal court?”

Hora bit her lip, shaking her head.

“No, but if I may speak freely…I only did so because I could see how much it meant to the princess to embark on this journey. Believe me when I say that I was just as apprehensive about it. I…I helped to raise this child and teach her the ways of the kingdom as you had written it…and I admit that I have grown soft with her. I did not want to betray you, but I couldn’t bear the thought of betraying the love and trust of the child I governed.”

Thorin was quiet before he replied softly.

“I understand. You stand beside her not just as her governess, but as her kin. I cannot hold that against you. For that, your punishment will not be severe. I am inclined not to punish you at all, but I can’t give you much leniency lest someone get aroused by the idea of treason, whatever the treasonous act is.”

Hora nodded softly, and she whispered.

“I understand…thank you, my king. I will take what you give me in stride.”

Thorin nodded before asking.

“Hora, if there is any possibility of you holding something back from me in fear of betraying the trust of the princess, I ask that you set aside what feelings you have for my child and you tell me. Anything you know at all…reveal it to me.”

Hora bit her lip, clenching her hands, and Stilda nodded to her, patting her back.

“My dear, please…a parent’s greatest fear is the loss of their child when they could have saved them…or at least helped them to breathe one last breath. If (Y/n) has told you anything, then you must reveal it to Thorin…he stands before you not as a king, but as a father who is worried for his only child.”

Hora began to cry again, and she nodded.

“She…she revealed to me that she intended to go to Rivendell to ask for haven with Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel. The Princess told me that Vonnir haunts her at night, and she doesn’t know what it is that keeps him tethered to her. I…I think she goes to Rivendell to enlist the help of the elves in order to seek their abilities of the divine to finally release Vonnir from her. I do not know if she intends to go there first before dispatching the orcs who survived the wrath of Dwalin and King Dain, but it is certain that she will be there at some point in the future. I am so sorry to have lied to you, my king.”

Thorin almost grimaced at the thought of being in the presence of elves, and he looked down on Hora. Cupping her face, Thorin said to her sincerely.

“Thank you, Hora. I will not forget this. You put your very heart on the line for me, and I cannot ask for more than that.”

Hora swallowed thickly, whispering.

“I will risk anything for the safety of the Princess.”

Thorin nodded before he stood and grabbed his cloak.

“No harm is to come to this maiden while I am gone…and that goes for Lady Stilda as well.”

“She is under my jurisdiction, Thorin.”

Thorin looked upon Dain and replied.

“She is just as much of a friend to my daughter as Hora. If harm comes to Lady Stilda, no matter how small, I will not show you the same leniency kin or not.”

Dain sighed and Thorin turned back to Dwalin. Dwalin asked softly, crossing his arms.

“Are ya ready for this?”

“As I will ever be.”


End file.
